I’ve been stuck in the “depression pit”, as I like to call it. I have depression, but I’m also bipolar (type 2). Therefore, when I hit the depression part of my cycle, it’s multiplied and I pretty much isolate myself until it goes away.
I haven’t been doing well recently. Every time I think I’m going to stop self-harming, I do it again. My legs are a mess. I was clean for a week (not a big accomplishment, but it was a great improvement for someone who cuts multiple times a day). I cut this morning.
Why is it that the only way for me to gain temporary relief is to mutilate myself? Do I really hate myself that much?
1 comment
Habits and patterns of behavior can be really hard to break. Ask many of the people who smoke cigarettes how easy it is to quit. It’s not. Dropping one behavior can sometimes involve replacing it with another one. Take some time to think about what you can do to replace the self-harm. Go for a walk? Call a friend? etc. It might also be a good idea to reach out to someone you trust and get some ideas.