Hi Guys,
Welp its day 11. I just want to thank all of you who stuck with me. No this is not a goodbye note, but just a thank you. Your comments (well most of the comments) helped me and comforted me. 😀 So thank you especially to Michael, OnlyLOVEisReal, and The Koji, you guys have helped me so very much and I hope you continue to comment on my posts. 😀
Another note thing is that I do post poems, but sometimes they’re at random times, and I’m sorry for that, and so maybe you don’t see them. So I just wanted to put that out there. You can view them I don’t care. 😛
Now onto my day. Same routine in the morning. But today I didn’t eat breakfast. I don’t know if I’ve shared this with you. Maybe I have. Maybe I haven’t. It’s hard to keep up and keep my thoughts straight. So I’m on the borderline of anoxeria… Yeah I know it’s bad for me. I don’t try to, but I see myself in the mirror and just think I’m terribly fat. It’s hard ya know? So that’s that. I got dressed and went to school. Something at school happened. It was miraculous. You know that bully situation I was talking about yesterday? HE GOT MOVED. WITHOUT ME TELLING OR ANYTHING!!!! 😀 I don’t know why, but I’m just glad.
The depression dip is going okay I guess. Still there. The temptation still there. So yeah.
How am I? Emotionally: Drained Physically: Not doing so great
For my emotional status I just don’t know what to do… At times I feel happy, but with friends. And I don’t know. It’s just I guess I can’t just straight up and ask for help. I feel terrible. Because what if that person that I go to for help needs help themselves? What if they try to help, but they can’t? They’re so many what ifs… So I just don’t go there. I write my feelings down or I just keep them in. 75% of my feelings are written down and the other 25% is kept in and bottled up. The 25% that I do keep in I just can’t ask for help with them.
For my physical status I just *sigh* it’s so tempting, but then I’d be leaving so many people behind and I just feel trapped. My shoulder is doing a bit better, not much though, and so that’s blech. My headaches have become more and more frequent. And I don’t know what to do about that…
So yeah. That’s how I am.
Here’s your Poem:
i dont know
at this moment
where i am
in this life
i dont know
at this moment
where i stand
in this life
i dont know
at this moment
if i want
you to go
or to say
with lonely me
i dont know
at this moment
what my purpose
really is in
this weird life
i dont know
at this moment
so many things.
Au Demain
7 comments
Hang In there! Focus on your friends, distract your self with something, weather its me, or someone else. I’m sure at least a few of the people that comment on your posts regularly would have no problem receiving an email from you, just to talk. We are here for you Letitgo. Stay strong
Hey LetitGo, your welcome. But thank you for allowing me the opportunity to try and help you. I really am here for you if you need any support and advice. And I will continue commenting and trying to help you until you get better. I want you to overcome this or at least tame this depression and know you will get better.
But that’s good your Bullies gone. One less worry now right?
LetitGo what could possibly make you feel fat? You even acknowledge in a post while back that you were small. LetitGo, if you need to talk about it I’m here. Sorry I am at a bit of loss for words…..
LetItGo, I don’t know your eating habits, but my personal experience in places that lack food and water is……water is a necessity to keep my hard from hurting…..drinking water helps me. Proper diet plays a part too.
Like Mr. Koji wrote, thank you for allowing us into your life. We are here to see you through!
I was called fat and ugly as a kid. It just kind of stuck.
You do see how not letting that comment go is still affecting you…….the person that made that comment to you was having challenges too. That comment was made to make them feel better about themselves. Try not to let that control you anymore. You are an intelligent young lady that needs to have the correct nutrients in life.
Love your poetry, letitgo. Your stuff always hits home for me,even some of your life hits home. I’m glad your bully was moved. And just so you know, I too was called fat and ugly as a kid. In fact, one of my “nicknames” given to me by one of my sisters involves replacing part of my name with “whale”. I still get called that to this day. So I understand how you feel about those things sticking and festering and making us believe it. Like Michael said, I’m sure the people who post on here in general would be more than happy to be here for you, including me. Hang in there and keep up the poetry.
As don’tknowanymone says, These names can stay with you. Mine do. My last name is Quinn. I was called Jeff queen, Jeff queer, doctor Quinn medicine woman, Quinn the Eskimo, it never ends. The funny thing now is I work in Spanish speaking counties and my last name is pronounced keen, add a little Venezuelan accent and yes the queen is back. My last evaluation had my name spelled queen. Oh well, sticks and stones. I use to take it personally, now I could care less what others have to say about me. There is a guy on the boat called jigsaw, because he is missing more teeth than everyone else. We have a driller named William spears. One night he pressed the wrong button on the BOP and sheared the drill pipe. A million dollar mistake….he has the nickname William shears now. The babes go on forever. In short be proud of who you are. Fat, skinny, short, tall, fast slow, be yourself!