Why are they’re so many thoughts in my head, so many different thoughts, that almost have nothing to do with anything, maybe I’m just masking what I feel inside, even though I still feel the same way,I might be thinking different things but everythings just the same, why does this always have to happen to the people that are down, that have felt alone and sick in this world for years on end, haven’t those people suffered enough, can’t they just finally get a break, can’t we finally feel a little happiness, or is there no happiness left, why is the universe like this, a corrupt place of hatred, hurt, and sadness, if only there where happiness left, if only there were something to live for. I mean there’s people that care and want to see me better, I want to see me better, just I don’t think there is any, never getting better, maybe I’m not ready for the world, maybe the world was never ready for me, why does suicide have to be hard on people, especially when it’s a person close, I don’t want to hurt people, but I don’t know anything else that night actually work.
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I wonder the same thing… It seems like there are no breaks… Depression breeds so many horrible feelings and emotions and they all are so degrading. I think I am in the same hopeless boat you are in. I haven’t found anything that works yet, only things that don’t hurt as much. Maybe one day, but I doubt it for myself.. I sincerely hope you do get better though, this feeling really does suck..
Occasionally, I slip into the abyss of depression with thousands of thoughts racing inside my head. And then, over time, I come to the realization that the reason I get so unhappy in life is that I am not willing to accept the current status quo that has forced onto me.
Just imagine the status quo an invisible force wielding a knife heading straight at me…and if I fight back, I would get stabbed and wonder why the fuck there is a knife in the first place.
So instead, I stopped fighting… occasionally, I lament the unfairness or the loss in opportunity (that you may actually win if you do fight back). But I think overall, if I can somehow reach self-happiness even when I am in a rock bottom situation, I can care less about fighting back and instead focus on being more content with what I can do to be happy.
When you at rock bottom, there is nothing really you can lose, and the sooner your accept it as is, the faster you can bounce back (or at least come up with a plan to bounce back or work around obstacles)
Nope, for some people a black cloud seems to be attached to them from birth. Sometimes I wonder if it’s because of the way I relate to the world, the way I was taught, but it doesn’t matter. It’s inescapable, destiny. Getting kicked a hundred more times when you’re down. It’s so easy to give up so much of your will just figuring out how to survive under that cloud it’s a wonder anyone has any will left for fighting back. Of course, as long as the fight itself isn’t a futile one… against an opponent you later learn has been cheating all along and can’t be beaten. Then you might as well slam your controller down and hit the off button.