What is keeping you on this planet we call Earth?
For me, it’s my parents, mainly my mum. They’d be devastated if I ever killed myself.
So here I still am; waiting, hoping, wishing, that things will get better.
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Same…I think. Yet I have been desperate enough on a couple of occasions that the thought of it wasn’t enough to stop me…still here though, don’t know why whom ever is in charge saw fit to pull me back from the abyss…
Same reason.
I want out so badly now. I want nothing else to matter. There’s no other choice for me but to make this leap.
Please don’t die, please don’t do that to everyone. Please don’t make your parents bury their cold dead child. Don’t force your family to lay on your grave and scream your name until their throats are too raw to speak. Your friends and your family will never again sleep easy thinking “if only I” every night for the rest of their lives. You have a future, it is bright. Look at it now… You can get on a plane and see all the wonders of the world. Get married, have children. Don’t snuff that out because you’re temporarily sad. Life has moments that are sad but there is nothing sadder than losing you. You are loved by so many. This world becomes dark and horrible for those that love you if you are gone. If you have brothers and sisters please know that if you choose to leave they will never ever be okay again. Their lives lose meaning and they will never live another day that isn’t filled with the most horrible soul crushing grief, so much pain that it will shock them that the pain alone has not killed them. I’ve lived 27 days without my big brother, there is nothing worse… Nothing… So please I am begging you. Please choose life, please don’t do to others what he has done to me, my mom, my dad, my siblings, his friends, his children, his coworkers. The world will not be okay if you go. Please don’t die.
@4everlost
Thanks for the kind words. Unfortunately, I don’t have friends, which is probably a factor for my loneliness and depression.
I do have an older brother, but we pretty much never speak to each other. I doubt he’d care if I went.
But other than that, I’ll take your words into my thoughts.
I do hope, that one day I’ll see the wonders of the world. I do hope that I’ll get married, and have kids. I do hope my future will be bright. But alas, those are only hopes. We’ll see if they ever come to fruition, if I live long enough for it.
Hurting my grandmother and someone else who isn’t in my life now (but i fear that it might affect that person if she were to find out… maybe not). At times i see glimmer of hope/make future plans… and then i feel i’m just wishing for the impossible (and all things considered, i am) and go back to think that ending it all is my best choice.
only one person keeps me here – it’s the anguish i feel to leave or not. because if i do, his life will be forever changed. i owe no one else anything. i can’t get past this the trauma i feel, i wish i had the support and love i needed to fight for my life – but, i don’t. i can’t do it on my own. no one can.
No one can truely support…can truely understand… I see the look on my families eyes…the confusion over not knowing what I am going through…and that’s just with my physical pain, let alone emotional. I don’t survive because I owe them…I survive…because I am an empath? Yet, I won’t be here to feel their emotion when I am gone…which is an odd thing, yet, for some reason it’s a driving force behind maintaining…
What an odd little world we spin for our selves…
i know exactly how you feel. seems like someone you love is the only thing keeping you from making a big decision, thinking about the look on their face or the thoughts going through their head. its strangle yes very but you love them so much you couldn’t bare to hurt them even though you long to hurt yourself. you’re very strong and loving keep that together and keep your faith, things get better in time.
Ive stRed down the barrel and walked away in november the depression i had has returned making each day hollow and full of anxiety what keeps me here?hope that things will get better
Looks like most of us stick around out of fear for our relatives and how the’ll keep living. For me it’s my mother. If I finally decide to go for my big exit I’ll make sure they don’t believe it’s a suicide.
theunknown: I hear you…I have the number plate from my written-off Mazda 3 to proove it…