I found that people especially in the work place will judge me because of my depression.
I want to say to those who judge others because of their depression – “Do not Judge someone before you have walked several miles in their shoes!!!!!”
If I had a choice I would not have chosen depression as an illness. I do not want to feel like this. I don’t want to have an emotional roller coaster ride every day of my life.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
5 comments
I feel you. Got into trouble at positions i held in the past more then once. I was the team leader for a promotional project. After the first weekend my boss asked me if she should continue to have me on, since I barely smile or look happy. Then I told her that I will work on it. So I started to smile even when I did not feel like it. Every time she called to find out how the project was going, I put on my happy hat and told her in the happiest voice i could muster that everything was going fine. I bullshit my way through the job and it shouldn’t have really be necessary because you are basically being told:”you are not allow to be who you are, so please be someone else”.
The next job as well. I got some good feedback and then I was told I was rude to clients THREE MONTHS before. really, three month? Now you tell me about it and I can’t to anything about it. I can’t state my side of the story or even apologize to the person I was rude to. I could only feel bad about it.
This world is not a fair place i know it. If it was then sites like this would not have existed. I think the only thing i want to tell you is that people do judge our actions. Actions that are caused by our mental state. It’s unfair and I’m sorry you feel the way you do. There are many souls out there who feel the same way you do.
thats why you have us. your family on this site
I relate to this. My brother always says: what do you have to be depressed about? I HATE THAT! I never talk about my depression at work but to be honest I didn’t have my depression affecting my work til the year before I moved back home in 2010.
thanks it is difficult to get someone to understand how you feel. My family as well thinks that its just in my mind and that I have no reason to be depressed. I am on medication and I am so tired of hearing that I could be better of if I leave my meds. I wish I could just change my mind and say to myself that all is ok and its only in my head. When the heaviness of my depression starts then I do stupid things like drink too much pain tablets and cut myself and if someone sees it they will say stuff like it is not worth it. But what they don’t understand, while I feel like that and I o hurt myself it makes me feel better. Is there someone else that do the same?
As much as I may balk about taking meds I know it is helping to suppress my suicidal thoughts. That’s not to say I don’t still think about them. I also have to say that meds are variables and because of that it is hard to know what works and what doesn’t. I heard the “get off your meds” speech before but what I try to impress upon the people who don’t suffer from depression is that my depression is from a chemical imbalance. I have only recently started taking meds by choice and “force” from my hospital stay last year.
One of my issues with meds have yo do with what happens when I run out case in point a few weeks ago. The pharmacy I was dealing with was a fucking piece of shit anyways so I switched and I hope it is for the better. When I ran out of my meds after taking them diligently, I FELT my mood dip so low. It was like all the blood drained from my brain. That is not a good feeling for me at all and I couldn’t go to school or anything except think about ending my life.
Now I am at square one again because once you stop, it doesn’t take long before the brain registers that hey you need your meds to keep your levels stable…now because my pharmacy wanna play Russian roulette I have to build that stuff back up in my system again. I was doing so good and you will too eyeore!!!!
I don’t drink much and I can’t say I am cutter except I can visualize doing that to myself and it gets so bad in my head that it is enough to make me think I really cut myself. I have cut myself a couple of times in high school but it doesn’t do anything for me so I don’t do it.
I have attempted od on pills…the last time I did that I was so mad at the damn suicide hotline guy for being so uncaring to me on the phone.