I’m tired of looking for a partner. in a few hours, I’m going to rent a room at the local motel and do the partial suspension hanging method with one of my scarves. ive already semi- attempted it here in my house. i was on my knees and kneeling forward with the scarf tied around the door knob and on my neck right below my jaw. I felt my oxygen being cut off and I felt light headed after about 5 seconds and I took it off. I can’t kill myself in my house, I live with my mom and sister and I don’t want to traumatize them anymore then necessary. I feel sorry that the hotel house keeper is going to be the one to find me, but I really cant go on living feeling the way I do. its been too long.  and I’m going to smoke a fat fucking blunt before I hang myself. Im tired of living in this world and waking up everyday wishing I did things differently.  I’ve been depressed for the past 2 years and everytime I start to feel a little better, I crawl back into my rut.
Letting go of the past is so easy for others to say but the memories of my past have been screwdriven into my brain , therapy and anti depressants haven’t done shit for me.
any tips on how to make this method fail proof would be greatly appreciated.
9 comments
*hugs* good luck
I commented again on your other post. Just let me know if you want the link.
Email me
Give yourself some time to think.
You can wish all you want that you did things differently but thats not gonna change the past. Each day you wake up is another to make change. Another day to grow and learn. Another day to do things differently. So maybe a few years from now you can look back and be happy that today you decided to live and do things differently.
You have a choice.
Its not gonna be easy. But then again life is is not easy. Change is not easy, but then why should it be. Especially if the prize at the end is so great.
I wish you peace and happiness in any choice you make.
People care and are willing to help you see you throught this fight.
Take care.
thank you
@shallowstares I had been researching different “fail proof” methods as well. I was going to do the real thing Friday night. I was totally plastered and out of my mind–I couldn’t do it sober. My friend happened to email me out of the blue. She kind of save my life. Had she not emailed me at that very moment, I know I would’ve completed the act.
The question is am I thankful or not? Lol. We’ll see how things go but it seems like I wake up in mental Hell every morning.
I would say “Hang in there” but I don’t think that’s really appropriate at this point.
Has anyone considered traveling some place nice to do your deed?
I guess if firearm is involved, many destinations would be impossible to execute. Otherwise, you could find ropes, tall buildings, bridges, rivers, subways almost anywhere.
good luck
Hi, are you still here? I’m wondering if you got your answers. Please email me because I’d like to know as well. rosebearrr@gmail.com