I deserve rest and peace. Please. why, I might do it tomorrow but tonight im to tired. Goodnight everyone. If I do it will be responsibly done quick and easy. Of couse I have Bi polar, of course I suffered childhood trauma, of course I attempted before, of course I cut, of course I have gambling and drinking problems. shit paranoia is the worst. I have paranoia disorder.
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Hi, Whyyyy. I’m adding a comment so you know someone (I’m sure a lot of someones) read your post. And feels your frustration. I empathize with your line, “I might do it tomorrow but tonight I’m too tired.” I’ve fallen asleep exhausted many early mornings after having spent the night on the edge. Like you, I wanted to terribly, but for some reason stayed “awake” thinking about what doesn’t matter, and then was too tired…
You’re right. You deserve rest and peace.
We all deserve rest and peace. Perfect, deep, comforting rest and peace.
Thanks for the kind words. Its one more day complete. I might be up for another. Even though yesterday I relapsed and lost 8 thousand dollars. And all the other things.
@Whyyy: If you’d like to share some more, I’d be happy to listen. Losing $8K in one day sounds terrifying. Relapsed? Other things? If you’d rather not share, I understand. But I’m listening if you would rather. 🙂
@whyyyy I’m sorry to hear that. I can so understand what you and EK2020 are saying. Although I’ve attempted suicide once, there have been many other times where I wanted to but couldn’t because “I was too tired.” Wonderful life saver, eh? I was planning on doing it either today or tomorrow, but I’m not sure yet. Some other wrench may get thrown in the machine.