i just want to cut so bad, i can even see the exact places i’ll do it. my hands shake when i’m not holding something, my skin crawls, and itch that can’t be satisfied. a thirst that wont be quenched. i need to cut. but i’m afraid to even get up. because i know exactly where something is. and if by some chance it’s not there, i know where a lighter is. a burn would last longer, hurt more. give more of a release. but i can’t. it’s wrong, forbidden
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2 comments
Fire doesn’t burn itself.
I set myself on fire once (wearing a Nomex suit of course). It was an interesting experience. I’d never do it again however. I used to cut, albeit with an extensively sharpened blade used mainly for “ceremonial” purposes, but what the hell. I can tell you that I loved drawing blood, none of that cross cutting bullshit either.
Quench your thirst, or continue to salivate at the thought. It’s your decision to make.
Okay, I don’t want you to hurt yourself, but… I know what you’re feeling cuz I’m depressed too.
Listen, if you’ve got to do it, don’t do stuff that’s going to permanently scar you just for temporary relief,
You need something quick you can do that isn’t “forbidden” but can still “hurt.” A “healthy” option would be doing a shitload of squats, sit-ups, and push ups. A less “healthy” option would be seeing how long you could hold your breath… until it hurts? Until you pass out?
Just, look, if you’ve got to do something, try and find a benefit in it too… or, if you really can’t, then at least minimize the damage.
Oh, and BTW, I think it’s a really good idea to tell someone you trust that you’re feeling this way. It may suck at first, but it’s a good idea. It helped me a lot.