I was afraid of being alone quite a bit as a child, until I got used to it and appreciated it for the solace it gave me from the other bipedal drones in life. It scared me because I never knew exactly what “loneliness” was, and of course we fear anything that we cannot understand or comprehend (in our own special ways, of course) so it’s natural to be…well, scared!
I’d wish that no one would ever not fear loneliness, as it signifies one’s adaptability to being a lone ranger. The minimum strength of any given team needs to be at least two (2) pers, you cannot operate effectively on your own. In saying that, you still need to take out time for yourself. Be comfortably alone, yet adaptable to scenarios where you’ll be operating as a team, so to speak.
How can we validate that though? Sometimes it is not a choice to be lonely. Sometimes people can not help but be lonely. It is hard to live lonesome, but innit possibly true? There must be one person who lived a happy life completely alone. And if there was one, then there must’ve been more. I always imagine those sheep farmers or something in other countries that do nothing but be a shepherd dawn until nightfall again. But it is a content life. That should not be feared.
But there are situations where beings are shunned from society. Forced to be lonely. They don’t have a choice but to be so lonesome. That is the loneliness I wonder if we should be really afraid of. If another human can live lonely and content, then should us other loners just adapt to it? Just adapt to the situation of being solitary and not have a valid reason to fear it? It is confusing.
I never really thought of validating it. It was, it is and it always will be in my eyes, to validate being alone (in my opinion) would only reinforce my wanting for companionship. So I guess you can choose whether to acknowledge it or not. I guess some people can’t help but be alone, whether due to their profession or personal circumstances that force them into this most unfavourable predicament. When I used to do hunting trips on my own, I felt at peace with nature and my surroundings. The cool country air and the wisp of wind that flowed through untouched valleys. Perhaps setting helps determine whether one becomes comfortably alone as well? I wouldn’t mind being a solitary park ranger, if only for the beauty of nature.
Loneliness forced upon us by society is something to be both feared and loathed. I like to think humans were made to create connections between each other and develop deeper meaning about sentience, self thinking and all that good shit. To be denied this only serves to render our existence as a free thinking species moot. You can adapt to the loneliness; overcoming it will be what makes or breaks you.
I think if you fear loneliness then you will be lonely. What you fear you become. If you fear something you’re keeping it in your mind. You’re holding on to this idea and the fear of being lonely.
Its like the baseball pitcher story. it’s the bottom of the ninth. Two outs, a man on first and the 4th batter is coming to the plate. He’s a home run hitter.
The pitching coach runs out to talk to his pitcher. He says, “Do NOT pitch him high and outside. He’ll hit it out of the park.”
The pitcher winds up and throws a fast ball ….. high and outside! The hitter hits a home run, wins the game.
The pitching coach planted the seed and gave him a focus of HIGH and OUTSIDE. You can’t dwell on the reverse of what you want.
I really like your idea of thinking. It seems more on the thought lines of those who are strictly anti-suicidal, if you know what I mean. Then again, belief tends to make up a person, and I can see what you mean. Of course we can’t dwell on what we DON’T want, that is like only focusing on negativity while we are searching for positivity. Sometimes, it seems like it is hard to focus on the good things. It feels like I Have to focus on the bad things, in hope to eliminate them. (It is just one of those other hopeless things in my life, how nothing turns out).
Some people enjoy being lonely, like the Mysterious Stranger said, and I quite like that same sense of loneliness too. It’s a different kind though. The kind of loneliness I fear is not being in an empty room, but living in a world where nobody understands me. The true kind. The dark kind.
I think focusing on being lonely, dwelling on it, probably does increase the chances of feeling more lonely. I see the right part of your context.
Clevername, most people think it is one of those things that there is no excuse for. That if I really wanted to I could easily make a friend and spill my whole life, and chances are there will eventually be a nice person there to understand me. But to me . . . I don’t see that possible. I think to understand somebody, you have to feel what they feel at one point. I don’t see that possible. But again, everybody (not in this position) thinks there is no excuse to be in a state of miserable loneliness.
So if there would to be a vote, the majority (because “most people”) would go against my way of life. (It would pretty much be at the 99.99%) Which is another point of why I hate living . . .
which is why i think democracy is a profoundly absurd notion. Dumb down the masses, but let them vote what happens in the world? Really?
I don’t want a bunch of ignorant deluded theists deciding which rules i have to obey, or legislating criminalization of what i enjoy (ie: cannabis).
And sure, they may be “many other fish in the sea,” but there are far too many of the fish i want to avoid, and only myths of the ones i actually want to see. In other words: there is no fish; there is only myself. (yay matrix reference!)
10 comments
Yes. Why not?
I was afraid of being alone quite a bit as a child, until I got used to it and appreciated it for the solace it gave me from the other bipedal drones in life. It scared me because I never knew exactly what “loneliness” was, and of course we fear anything that we cannot understand or comprehend (in our own special ways, of course) so it’s natural to be…well, scared!
I’d wish that no one would ever not fear loneliness, as it signifies one’s adaptability to being a lone ranger. The minimum strength of any given team needs to be at least two (2) pers, you cannot operate effectively on your own. In saying that, you still need to take out time for yourself. Be comfortably alone, yet adaptable to scenarios where you’ll be operating as a team, so to speak.
The Mysterious Stranger,
How can we validate that though? Sometimes it is not a choice to be lonely. Sometimes people can not help but be lonely. It is hard to live lonesome, but innit possibly true? There must be one person who lived a happy life completely alone. And if there was one, then there must’ve been more. I always imagine those sheep farmers or something in other countries that do nothing but be a shepherd dawn until nightfall again. But it is a content life. That should not be feared.
But there are situations where beings are shunned from society. Forced to be lonely. They don’t have a choice but to be so lonesome. That is the loneliness I wonder if we should be really afraid of. If another human can live lonely and content, then should us other loners just adapt to it? Just adapt to the situation of being solitary and not have a valid reason to fear it? It is confusing.
I never really thought of validating it. It was, it is and it always will be in my eyes, to validate being alone (in my opinion) would only reinforce my wanting for companionship. So I guess you can choose whether to acknowledge it or not. I guess some people can’t help but be alone, whether due to their profession or personal circumstances that force them into this most unfavourable predicament. When I used to do hunting trips on my own, I felt at peace with nature and my surroundings. The cool country air and the wisp of wind that flowed through untouched valleys. Perhaps setting helps determine whether one becomes comfortably alone as well? I wouldn’t mind being a solitary park ranger, if only for the beauty of nature.
Loneliness forced upon us by society is something to be both feared and loathed. I like to think humans were made to create connections between each other and develop deeper meaning about sentience, self thinking and all that good shit. To be denied this only serves to render our existence as a free thinking species moot. You can adapt to the loneliness; overcoming it will be what makes or breaks you.
I think if you fear loneliness then you will be lonely. What you fear you become. If you fear something you’re keeping it in your mind. You’re holding on to this idea and the fear of being lonely.
Its like the baseball pitcher story. it’s the bottom of the ninth. Two outs, a man on first and the 4th batter is coming to the plate. He’s a home run hitter.
The pitching coach runs out to talk to his pitcher. He says, “Do NOT pitch him high and outside. He’ll hit it out of the park.”
The pitcher winds up and throws a fast ball ….. high and outside! The hitter hits a home run, wins the game.
The pitching coach planted the seed and gave him a focus of HIGH and OUTSIDE. You can’t dwell on the reverse of what you want.
Randall,
I really like your idea of thinking. It seems more on the thought lines of those who are strictly anti-suicidal, if you know what I mean. Then again, belief tends to make up a person, and I can see what you mean. Of course we can’t dwell on what we DON’T want, that is like only focusing on negativity while we are searching for positivity. Sometimes, it seems like it is hard to focus on the good things. It feels like I Have to focus on the bad things, in hope to eliminate them. (It is just one of those other hopeless things in my life, how nothing turns out).
Some people enjoy being lonely, like the Mysterious Stranger said, and I quite like that same sense of loneliness too. It’s a different kind though. The kind of loneliness I fear is not being in an empty room, but living in a world where nobody understands me. The true kind. The dark kind.
I think focusing on being lonely, dwelling on it, probably does increase the chances of feeling more lonely. I see the right part of your context.
it’s normal to fear being stuck with displeasing conditions beyond your control.
Clevername, most people think it is one of those things that there is no excuse for. That if I really wanted to I could easily make a friend and spill my whole life, and chances are there will eventually be a nice person there to understand me. But to me . . . I don’t see that possible. I think to understand somebody, you have to feel what they feel at one point. I don’t see that possible. But again, everybody (not in this position) thinks there is no excuse to be in a state of miserable loneliness.
you know what i say about “most people.”
So if there would to be a vote, the majority (because “most people”) would go against my way of life. (It would pretty much be at the 99.99%) Which is another point of why I hate living . . .
which is why i think democracy is a profoundly absurd notion. Dumb down the masses, but let them vote what happens in the world? Really?
I don’t want a bunch of ignorant deluded theists deciding which rules i have to obey, or legislating criminalization of what i enjoy (ie: cannabis).
And sure, they may be “many other fish in the sea,” but there are far too many of the fish i want to avoid, and only myths of the ones i actually want to see. In other words: there is no fish; there is only myself. (yay matrix reference!)