I’m thinking of leaving… This world has so much pain and I don’t want anyone else to feel my pain. How do I get everyone to hate me so that I can leave without the ones who love me feeling pain too?
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It’s not easy. You want people to hate you so they won’t feel pain when you leave. Hate, in and of itself, can be painful. Why not ask the people in your life for help? It seems like you’ve identified people who care about you and would feel pain if you left… so perhaps they would do their best to assist if given the opportunity.
None of them know what to do, how to react or how to comfort me… I want to talk about my pain without the other feeling the pain or hugging me or wiping away my tears. I just want to talk and tell them what it wrong in my own time where we sit together and I can cry freely without him or her trying to give me a tissue or something similar. But… Just listen and maybe even ask questions like “why didn’t you tell your mom about the bullying?” But not over Internet either… I want to do it in person with someone but no one seems to be capable of doing this.
Don’t leave.
Start something new, turn your life around.
Get a hold of yourself and fight. Each challenge is nothing if you have the determination in yourself to conquer them. If you’re dead, it’s over. There’s nothing. So why not live while you can? Don’t be afraid to assert yourself. Treasure and protect the people you love. The pain will go if you fight against it. I don’t know what your problems are, so I can’t tell you how.
My problem is that I have no one to listen to me…
“I just want to talk and tell them what it wrong in my own time where we sit together and I can cry freely without him or her trying to give me a tissue or something similar.”
Honestly, that’s difficult to do for some people. Myself, if I have someone in front of me crying, my natural inclination is to provide support… a kind word, a tissue, etc. There have been moments where the person in front of me pre-asked me not to do anything… to just listen so they could say what they wanted to say… and I did so. Perhaps not everybody can.
“I want to do it in person with someone but no
one seems to be capable of doing this.”
Have you tried working with a social worker or a counselor? I’ve had times where I’ve asked to simply get some things off my chest… and it’s helped. If the people around you can’t do what you’re seeking, maybe that is another option. I understand the desire to have it in-person versus online.
I do not trust them… I’ve had bad experiences with them… One called my mom and told her I was suicidal, I got grounded for a month and yelled at one second after I got home. The other threatened to tell my mom everything unless there was something seriously wrong with me, so I yelled at her, burnt her notes, screamed some more, sat in the corner and sobbed for half and hour and when she came closer I started laughing hysterically.
I do understand it’s difficult for most people to do such a thing but I just wish someone would…
Your comment reminded me of this:
When I ask you to listen and you start giving me advice, you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problems, you have failed me, strange, as that may seem.
Listen! All I ask was that you listen, not talk or do, just hear me.
Advice is cheap; twenty cents will get you both Dear Abby and Billy Grahm in the same newspaper.
And I can do for myself. I’m not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and inadequacy.
But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and I can get about this business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling.
And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice. Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what’s behind them.
Perhaps that’s why prayer works, sometimes, for some people…because God is mute and doesn’t give advice or try to fix things.
He just listens and lets you work it out for yourself.
So, please listen and just hear me.
And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn
And I’ll listen to you
That’s exactly how I feel!
Someone will listen to every word you have to say an help with what ever can be helped with. In just a little more time.
The hard part is the wait but. So worth the waiting for, when you know the person believes in you, an wants to listen.an wants to show its not all bad an life is worth living , the would be a void in this world without you an a heart would never be whole again, half a heart don’t survive it needs the other half.
mag ik vragen wat de uiteindelijke reden is dat je weg wilt?