Hey guys, I’ve been kind of a lurker here for sometime now. I just joined because I really wanted to speak to a lot of like minded people in terms of suicide. Suicide is something that has been on my mind for a long time now, but it has recently become a stronger fixation since the beginning of this year. Â A couple of weeks ago I started feeling like I could feel that the end was near for me and that I would probably die because of my fixation on suicide. Â Even now, it feels like I’m at the last step, but the problem is that I don’t have any way to end it.
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I’m in the same mind set. I just got my meds refilled today and I snuck both bottles upstairs to my room wondering when I might just give in. Sad, you know? I hope you feel better or at least find a way to cope. (I sound like a hypocrite)
It’s cool I understand you lol, it probably won’t get better though, just stronger overtime. I wish I could find some people who would help me if I really reach that point or at least had access to a gun.
A gun has been something I’ve thought of using for a long time. I’ll be 20 this year so unfortunately I have to wait another year where I am to get a handgun. I’m able to buy a rifle but I’d have no way of hiding it. And you’re right. We may not get better, but stronger. Hang in there. I think the consolation of having like minded people on this website has helped me dispense both negative energy when needed, and positive energy in an attempt to console another fellow fighter of this darkness. It’s a long battle and I hope many of us including myself come out of it alive….even though everyday I tell myself “okay, today I’ll do it”.