I feel so alone. It’s like IÂ have the perfect boyfriend, friends and family. So why do I consistently feel this urge to harm myself. It’s been 6 months since I’ve cut and smoked. So why do I still feel this way. Why can’t the thoughts disappear. I want it all to end. I don’t always want to cut myself. I want to stop being so tired and sad all the time. I hate it. I hate myself. I’m not skinny enough or pretty enough. I just want to feel okay again.
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Talk with this perfect boyfriend of your’s or any individual you can confide in. With the people you trust, slowly let them into your dark place. Don’t tell them what you’ve done – let them ‘feel’ it. Y’know…descriptive spoken word and such. Eh…yeah I hated my body for a time as well, I’m still pretty much bulimic now yet I can maintain a pretty good weight. I really don’t give a shit if some other chick doesn’t find me attractive or whatever. I’m sure she’d have stink breath anyway. Hah. I’ll never be okay; but I’m cautiously content.
I’m sure you’ll be fine in time to come.
“I’m not skinny enough or pretty enough.”
Is that what your “perfect boyfriend” thinks?
^ Yup. I highly doubt that your friends are perfect if they do nothing to help you. Dont understand me wrong though, I am just thinking out loud.
“It’s like I have the perfect boyfriend, friends and family.” … if you did, thoughts like “I hate myself. I’m not skinny enough or pretty enough.” would not cross your mind.