I posted on here a few weeks ago about deciding to finally end it all and take my own life. I finished writing my letters last night and I feel like a completely different person! I feel lighter and happy, borderline giddy, like some silly little school girl who has a crush on the popular boy. I’m going tomorrow to buy my helium tanks, as well as the rest of the supplies I am going to need. I’ve decided to use two 14.9 cubic feet tanks from the party store and join them with a t-junction. I’m not using a flow regulator because I don’t think that I really need one. Anyway…..I am going to carry it out Wednesday night/ Thursday morning so that nobody will disturb me and try to save me. I have come to terms with this decision and have no feelings of remorse or anything like that. Thank you all for everything, you are all beautiful people and I love you all with all my heart. If it doesn’t work I will post again, but this will probably, and hopefully, be my last post.
Tonight I am going out and am going to have a good time, drink and gorge myself on my favorite foods. I am going out happy!
Goodbye and farewell
4 comments
Isn’t that funny that you should be giddy over finally making a decision. Sometimes when I’m agonizing over a decision, weighing the pros vs cons, making lists of good and bad, not knowing what to do, sweating, in pain and I finally just flip a coin to make a decision I feel the weight lifted because I’ve made a decision. Now my path is clear.
Just for conversation sake, what if the hard decision you made was to live no matter what? Would you still be euphoric? Curious.
Good luck with your decision. May you find peace. May your friends and family be comforted in knowing you’ve made a decision to end suffering. We will miss you.
I tried helium before and I could not get it to work without a flow regulator
but good luck to you. I hope you know what your doing
Randall, I’m happy because I’ve finally made the decision. I won’t have to live in pain anymore, be a burden to anyone or make people worry. I’m sad too, because I know my decision will leave a lot of people in great pain, but I have thought about this for a while and this is what I want, it is my life and if I want to end it then I should have the right. I know it is selfish and cowardly but I don’t care. I’ve made my peace and said my goodbyes. And I wouldn’t be happy if I made the decision to live no matter what because I would always be miserable.
Uptown234,
Were you just not able to get the helium to last long enough? What went wrong exactly? Well other than the fact that you are still here obviously.