Although I may never commit suicide
I spend parts of each day thinking about suicide –
Thinking about how I lack the courage to do it.
I wake in the mourning with 60 per cent depression.
That’s how it remains for the whole day,
Except for the odd occasion in a year
In the doorway or on the street I meet by chance
For a few minutes a woman passing-by
Who has the time to stop and talk for three minutes
Or five minutes or even sometimes seven or eight minutes,
Who rocks back on her heels in her pink, hooped skirt
With laughter, no matter what the topic.
Depression and despair are two different states
Of mind, […]
To whom it may concern –
If you’re reading this – it’s already too late. I’ve lived long enough – arguably on borrowed time. I can’t remember a time in my life when I wanted to exist. I’ve only stayed around as long as I have for the sake of others. I haven’t lived for myself because I never wanted that. The world seems hell-bent on torturing me and leeching my sanity day by day. Please – don’t feel guilty. Do not question what you could have done to prevent this because the short answer is that there is nothing you could have done.. Do not […]
I don’t even know how I ended up here. I was looking for painless ways to go. I guess since I’m here I will say goodbye to my sister. I know you tried, an I love you. Christina, My love what can I say other than I’m sorry. My kids will never understand this decision, so break it to them gently. The rest who know me, well “middle finger”.
Hii my name is Arianna… I done something I can’t take back.. I took a handful of pills.. Idk if I’ll die or not, if I don’t post anything else then obviously I’m dead, but I’ll make sure to keep y’all updated. Thanks for everything guys, it really helped.. Goodbye..
Posted on: Thursday, May 5th, 2016,12:26AM
Hi, my name is Carlos. I was born on Dec. 2, 1997 and I suffer from ADHD, anxiety and depression. I am Puerto Rican and was born and raised in America. I have 4 older siblings all also native to America. Three sisters with my brother being the oldest out of all of us, me being the baby in the nest.
I’m not really sure how I should start this off so I won’t worry about it, I’ll just start off from where I think it matters the most.
As a child, I had sort of a violent childhood. It was mostly […]
Today, I heard the news that one of my favorite teachers died. I could have accepted it better if it was a natural death but I heard it was not.
He was robbed and killed. Shot. In. The. Mouth.
He was an old man. Excited for his long awaited retirement. He wanted to go to places. And now he can’t.
He was strict but fun. He made us recite this poem he made everyday. But it’s not the boring kind of recitation. He likes to twist it around. He was a jolly old man.
He believed in our potential. He taught us a lot of words. And it was […]
I lost the game. She really does hate me now even though, my depression and apathy were the causes for why I pushed her away. I guess I deserve this fate… A fate worse than death or Hell… A living Hell with only one escape. It’s fine. I was tired of fighting sanity and life, anyway… I’m moving my date to tonight.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
This year has been the worst year of my life . This year I changed my ways , started reflecting on my self & thinking differently , and saw the world differently than I used to . I changed to be a better person but it really had an impact on me. I used to hang out with the wrong crowd and get into trouble. I took my self away from all that madness . And I realized I wasted all my teenage years with the crappiest people . So this year was a reflective year on my self . And it was a hard […]
I wished for stars tonight because they were the last thing I wanted to see. Of course it has to be cloudy but it don’t really matter…
My last few hours that I plan on being alive and I am spending it here on the internet….How pathetic can I get??? Just sitting here waiting for darkness to fall. I even bought some incense sticks that are supposed to smell like Christmas. Stars and the smell of Christmas, I wanted happy thoughts in my head as I died. I know this post rambles and I am sorry, I have so many thoughts going through my head right […]
how do i say my goodbyes? text message? letters??? please hit me up. done with breathing. xxx
Life has fucked me over again, but this time it’s payback time.
First thing tomorrow, I’m getting hold of some booze and dope, heading to the train tracks and jumping in front of the first hi-speed train that comes my way. Yeah, it’s gonna be hard on the guy running the train and people who will notice, but I don’t give a fuck anymore. Call me selfish, because maybe I am… All I know is I WILL do it, whatever it takes and no matter who I hurt in the process…
I got no one to say goodbye to without getting locked away in some psych ward, […]
I’ve been living this life for 17 years now. I know some people might say, I’m too young to think my problems are that heavy. Imagine them as an adult paying taxes and what not. I know. And I think you’re awesome.
There’s me. Not exactly loved, not exactly hated. I’ve experienced to be showered with attention. I’ve experienced to be bullied.
As a one-month old to three-month old, I have a sturdy grip and balance to walk myself out of the walker. As a child, I have a passion for adventure. You’ll never see me in one place. When I was finally ready for school, I […]
I love you all. Please remember all that I said and tried to do. You all are very special to me.
Angela, this may be the last letter I write to you. I guess my time here is up. I’m sorry for everything… I didn’t mean to lie to you. This life is no fairy tale. This life is not a garden of sweet roses… rather, it is an fearful enigma of pain and sorrow. I thought that I could save you… give you happiness once and for all… but I am merely just a fantasy. I am fake. And though I have reached the crevice where I couldn’t reach out to you and pull you close to my chest again, but I need you […]
So in 3 to 4 weeks I’m ending it just have to do a test run then gain the balls to just end it. I don’t give a fuck or a rats are anymore. Not even sure why I was born the only sucky thing is my family are going to have to bury me with no photo or nothing. I’m over family and parents. They only give a shit about themselves and haven’t once begun to understand mental illness. Funny thing is its going to have to be a burden to bury me or cremate me for my family. Cold heartless family.
Well 3-4weeks then […]
well I a about to pop five pills. Don’t let depression get to u like it got me stay strong.