It’s really bringing me down. One time after the other, I’m rejected and my world is torn apart because of my sexuality. Some days, some times, it seems appealing. So it happens, and then poof, I feel like I could never have sex again. I’m bored by it, it makes me sad to follow through sometimes when I’m trying to make him happy, but I don’t know what to do about me because I don’t know who I am anymore…
I’m lost. Going crazy. And I feel so alone every day.
3 comments
Yup… that sounds eerily familiar to me.
You sound gray-ace – sporadically, but very infrequently interested in sex. Are you currently in a relationship with someone? And if you are, does he know how you feel about it? From my own experience, and while it may not solve the problem, being honest with your partner can go a long way towards striking a balance between your needs and your partner’s. It’s a freaking loaded topic to wade into, though, and there really isn’t any easy way to approach it. Heh.
Did you know issac newton was asexual? He also believed in alchemy.
It’s alright just let it flow, you’re not going to feel less lonely being in a relationship with someone that doesn’t understand you. I understand it’s hard, I’ve mostly always been single and do crave human touch. I do feel lonely. But I use the pride I draw from my independence to enrich the certitude that if I were to be in a relationship it would be from desire rather than need.
Don’t worry lots of people feel this way about sex, me for instance. I’ve heard may times before that’s its about how you do it or whom you do it with and there’s probably a fair amount of truth in that.
But as long as you feel lonely you will not be able to date someone without losing sight of whom you really are. You will become dependent on the other and sacrifice yourself for the other. Often this effort will backfire on you and hurt the other and yourself leaving everyone dissatisfied.
Relationships are two-sided how can you take care of someone and expect the other to take care of you if you can’t take care of yourself? Of course these kind of realisations cannot be simply communicated, they need to be lived and felt. And this can only be achieved through living. I still hope this advice will help you.