I’ve been struggling for so long now. The depression started at age 13 and never ceases. At age 17 I attempted suicide and after nearly needing a liver transplant, I survived. I committed to give it several more years to see if it gets better. It doesn’t.
My life is easier than 99% of the world. I wish I could take my life and let a North Korean have my opportunity. I’m fairly good looking, smart, and athletic; but I never cease wishing I were dead. I know I was happy as a kid, but I can’t really remember it. It’s been so long. Many people talk to me about there problems because I listen, but I can’t talk to anyone. It’s wierd, even those i listen to won’t listen to me. The pain is unbearable, and its a vicous cycle. I’m on the verge of failing my finals.
I acquired to means to take my life in a failsafe way, and i don’t see why i shouldn’t do it.
2 comments
Well I don’t know if it means much, this is the first time I’ve been on this site and we don’t know each other. But I don’t think you should. I know I’ve heard the things like “you’re worth so much more than this” and stuff like that and it’s never really clicked with me but maybe it will with you. I think you’re worth something. I know the feeling that maybe if you just wait this out it’ll eventually go away and when you wait and wait and nothing changes you just feel done. But you’re not done I promise. There is so much more for you to do in this world. Sometimes it’s almost impossible to take a step back and put things back in perspective like failing finals and what you want to do with your life but if you can just take a minute and try to realize that those two things don’t have to fit so closely together. I know it feels like they do, and I still think that like 99% of the time. But I don’t know, maybe this helped maybe it didn’t. I hope it helped and know that I’m at least one reason for you not to do this.
I believe you are smart and strong enough to get passed this… then later on down the line you will just look back and laugh because you overcame it.
one time in my life I did attempt suicide. I didn’t die of course but I wound up getting treated for depression and got passed it and then I just decided to put all my effort into making my life better instead of trying to do myself in and My life got so much better that the best years of my life have been after that issue. so my advice is to just get radical about making changes in your life to make your life worthwhile. you can do it.
find something positive you love to do and go do it. Even if it means changing everything in your life to pursue it.