I could never say this in public. I get such a hopeful feeling when I read about SP members who have escaped this life. It’s tragic that they, or anyone, would suffer so much that they have to kill themselves. But being in that hell myself, I can only focus on the escape, imagining myself in their place, and using that to remind myself that there is an end to this pain.
I guess we talk & think about it so much, some of us for years, that suicide starts to feel like an impossible dream. Sometimes the more we obsess over an idea, the more it becomes a fantasy and just that.
I definitely do not want more souls to suffer in this world. Hell knows, there are plenty. But I do want more people to find their escape and show me that, yes, it is possible to beat this life.
18 comments
Have you tried heroin? I do not suggest this is jest.
Due to Puritan, backwards, modern attitudes re: drugs, this post might be thrown in the trash and this suggestion might be viewed as a hideous, mean spirited insult, but consider that opiates have been used as an anti depressive treatment from 10,000 BCE on to today.
As the late, great, William Burroughs’ said in the movie “Drugstore Cowboys”:
-The idea that anyone can use drugs and escape a horrible fate is an anathema to these idiots.
But seriously…. how about a round of serotonin altering pharmaceuticals, enough with this dope business……
Considering I live in a house of heroin addicts, I can attest to the stupidity/insanity of the above comment. Now amphetamines, on the other hand, are a lot cheaper and less horrifyingly in every way.
horrifying* whoops
Are you guys serious? You cant be serious. If you try meth or herion, youll get hooked. If youre going to do drugs, just smoke weed. You wont get addicted. Also, your teeth wont fall out and you wont get open sores all over your face. Which is always good.
I wouldn’t recommend meth as it’s not pharmaceutical grade, and smoking any sort of refined chemical is likely a bad idea. Regular amphetamine pills aren’t so bad, though. But heroin is fucking dumb no matter how you look at it, imo.
I like to think every drug can be a wonderful thing in the hands of a capable and mindful person. The unfortunate thing about street drugs and the hard stuff like heroin is the quality and potency can vary, drastically. So it’s easy for even a relatively smart and careful person to mess up. Not to mention most people just don’t have the willpower to avoid addiction. Still, I can’t help but have an overwhelming admiration for drugs, however many deaths and horrors they cause. Always been fascinated by how a little substance can alter the mind so much.
“If youre going to do drugs, just smoke weed”
The problem with that is weed does not have all the desired effects one might want in their high. That’s the beauty of a wide selection, a wide variety of effects.
Lorax, you really think its worth it though to risk a life of dependence on a drug though?
And river, im fascinated most by psychadelics. I plan on doing mushrooms at some point, but its just so not worth it to try something that could possibly throw your life away imo. What other effects could you want though? Weed makes food taste better, sex feel better, makes you more creative and empathetic. To each their own though.
Amphetamine isn’t all that addictive. In contrast with heroin’s addictive potential, amphetamine is like a cup of tea.
What other effects could you want? All I can say is… have you ever tried cocaine? If not, try it and you’ll know what other effects you could want, haha. Have you ever been really drunk? Very different from a marijuana high, isn’t it? And for some people a more desirable one. Now let me make myself clear, I’m not knockin’ pot. I have a lot of respect for good ol’ Mary Jane, but she alone can not satisfy everyone. But like you said, to each their own. Different people have different tastes, some like uppers, some like downers. Some people love alcohol but don’t like pot, or the other way around. Personally I love both, although I lean pretty heavily on the side of alcohol.
Also, what’s wrong with having to depend on a drug? I don’t understand why people have such a strong reaction to that idea. For me, it’s like taking vitamin supplements.
Expensive and potentially harmful vitamin supplements.
I havent tried cocaine haha, but ive been drunk. I dont like it because you cant control yourself. But at the same time your a awkward goofball when your stoned. Haha. But yeah I get what your saying man.
Hmm…it’s possible you just got too drunk the times when you drank. The first time I got drunk my friend pushed too much on me, I threw up everywhere and it was pretty terrible. I decided at that point that I didn’t care much for alcohol, haha. But later I started experimenting with it again, tested my limits, and now it’s one of my favorite things in this world. Don’t give up on alcohol yet, my friend. Some people are effected by things in different ways, and alcohol just isn’t the thing for some. But still, test everything, never assume. You never know, you may be surprised.
@TheRiver: Well, if you take too much niacin, you’ll certainly regret the mistake. I tried that when I was a teenager (because, as I’ve learned, teenagers are dumb, and I was no exception). Skin turned bright red, and I felt like I was on fire for about 12 hours. Loads of fun that was… But isn’t niacin just vitamin B3? What I meant was, if taken at appropriate levels that actually help supplement one’s life, depending on a chemical isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I’d imagine the long-term effects of the chemical might demand careful consideration.
I would do hardcore drugs in a heartbeat if they were readily available. As it is, I don’t have any friends and can’t muster the strength to talk to the Fedex delivery guy, let alone going into the city and finding a source (how does one do that anyway? Walk up to random characters and ask?).
If there’s any over-the-counter stuff that works I’ll try that just because it’s easy. But I guess the problem when you hit rock bottom is that you don’t particularly want to try anything new. Death is an old friend which is why that’s tops on my list.
My few experiments with drugs years ago ended in failure. They just intensified the way I felt. Across the board that’s a bad thing.
I suppose you could try it that way – walking up to random people – but I doubt that would work out very well, and it would be pretty damn awkward. Most people just find their contacts through friends and co-workers and what not. You just have to be lucky, or live somewhere that the particular drug/drugs you are looking for is/are popular.
I once saw someone on the internet give this little nugget of wisdom : “Don’t know a drug-dealer? Get a job in a fast food restaurant…now you know ten.” There is probably some truth to this, haha.
Right now I don’t really have access to the things I would want either…or the money, really. Ah well. *sigh* if only these things were regulated and sold by the government, it would be so much easier. Whether I would agree with that policy is an entirely different matter, but I would sure be happy to receive the effects of it.
My best friend committed suicide on March 14th. She had an account on this website that i just came across and she had posted asking about ways she could do it, and my already shattered heart broke a thousand times more as i read the comments telling her how. As much as apart of me wants to respond with so much anger to anyone who encouraged her in how to end her life, a bigger part of me also breaks for all the others who were in her same numb state. She had talked with people about how she had shut her friends out in order for us to not feel as much pain, and she had also hoped that no one would find out because of her not responding for so long. If only she truly knew how far from the truth that really was. We could never ever ever just forget her.. we were so worried that we weren’t hearing from her and when we found out what happened.. my heart physically broke in two. No matter who you are, or how you have been treated, you are a beautiful person with beautiful potential. There is always hope as hopeless as things may seem. I use to be suicidal myself and struggled with depression for four years. I once too felt like things would never change or never get better. If my beautiful friend would have truly known how loved she was and how broken we are all now because of how much we miss her and want her back, she would have never ended her life so soon when there was so much more time for things to get better.
I mean this with my entire heart — if you need someone to talk to, even if you feel like there could be no comfort from a stranger, I assure you I genuinely care about a life that could possibly be lost, even if I have never met you. Everyone has a story and that story doesn’t have to end early or so tragically.
There is more to life than what is going on currently.
I will never be the same after losing my friend, and the pain we are now all in is greater than my friend ever imagined.
You don’t realize how valuable and precious you are. Your life is worth so much. Don’t let your circumstance or the people and awful things around you determine how good or bad things will be.
If you need someone to talk to, please talk to me. Do not give up. THERE IS HOPE. No matter what. No matter who you are. My email is theldbproject@gmail.com