I want to die

Hello all… I am going to keep my name out of this,but I’m a hoosier, i was bullied throughout school and life in general it hasn’t really changed as an adult either… My family doesn’t care about my problems… They won’t even listen to them because their worried about the drug addicts… Maybe they would help me if I started doing heroin like my brother and uncle, but I don’t want to do such things… My wife tells me I’m always a dick anymore but doesn’t want to listen to my problems she doesn’t seem to care that I’ve started sleeping on the couch since she was pushing me off the bed every night we haven’t had sex in months… I feel like I’m no longer good enough for her… And the place I worked at just suddenly closed last Monday I’ve been applying for jobs but I’m about 3 days from getting everything turned off… I was paying all but 2 bills and she doesn’t want to help with those bulls I guess its my place to pay them… I would pay them if I had a job but for now I have nothing I don’t really want to be a part of this world but I have either had support beams break or ropes break everytime I’ve tried to kill myself I even once grabbed a rope and tried to hang myself and told her what I was doing… She seemed a little disappointed that the support beam broke I want to end my suffering I want her to be happy and my death would do both can anyone explain to me how the helium tank and exit bag works because I just can’t hang myself correctly.