I feel that I can’t take it anymore I started getting my affairs in order last night I am writing my letters to the ones I will leave behind. But I stop and wonder why even write them anything I sit alone day after day as if I am the only one here anyways so would it even make a difference or a affect on them if I am no longer. If anything it would probably  relieve them of any burden I cause in their life’s. That’s what I am the burden in this thing called life but I call punishment. I try each day everyday to fight and try to find a reason to live a reason why I was brought into this world. My mother had a miscarriage before me why couldn’t that be me? Why do I get to be punish. So I have found a solution and death is the only answer. With me gone maybe I will finally find my happiness. So I have decided when where how and just to make it easier on everyone I will be in the woods away from the people in my world so my death isn’t their burden. First I am making sure I get all my stuff out of this house whether it be thrown away donated or burned but I am doing it. Hopefully this time I will be successful since I have tried 4 times different ways and still stuck here.
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Well if you have tried four times something’s keeping you here. somebody Is fighting for your life. someone cares they may not be with you everyday. sometimes they will hurt you and break you. but everyone who has met you thinks about you all the time. your mother had a miscarriage YOUR her miracle baby she lost one child why does she have to lose another…… Don’t be guilted into life by me forever. just have this guilt and need to live till you get on your feet and find true happiness. I’ll be thinking of u everyday wondering if you lived.