What’s the Point?

Kristin,

Your words are incredibly impactful. Many 20 year old women don’t necessarily deal with this must opposition. One thing that you need to rid yourself of is the mindset that tells you that you aren’t “deserving enough” for better things; wether that’d be people, opportunities, or affection. You’re upbringing may have been unfair, I’m not making light of that, however you must understand that it’s in the past. It may be hard, the thoughts that say, “You deserve to be weak and defeated. You’re best days are behind you, just learn to live pleasing other people, after all, you don’t deserve it,” are all just embodiments of your current outlook on life–they’re lies. Take small steps to change. No one on planet earth has ever restructured their life in 24 hours–it took time.

You spoke in your passage about God, and how you feel abandoned/forsaken by Him. Everyone has their own interpretations regarding God, and how he views people that have done “wrong.” I know one thing Kristin, God isn’t holding anything against you because you decided to step away from faith. I cannot imagine God up in the heavens saying: “On this day, Kristin is going to do something that is too much for my mercy.” He doesn’t hate you for what’s happened in life. Take small steps to change. Let them be the catalyst for bigger, more significant alterations later on. If your house is suffering from demonic possession, then pray for God to remove them. If you lost your job, then apply for another one; one that you truly enjoy. Lastly, don’t try an shoulder the responsibility of making other people happy, whether that’d be your boyfriend, your mother, or your brothers. Their well-being is important to you, and I can relate with that, however happiness, is a very subjective and complex emotion. Its not formulaic in that one person’s happiness can be used to “heal” another. Take some time to mend your own wounds. Once they heal, you’ll be able to move forward in confidence. I believe in you, Kristin. I know that in time, you’ll become everything you’ve always wanted to be.

-Gabriel