Everything is getting so messed up. I’m just…. I feel unwell and sick and nervous and unsettled and unhappy and I can’t call anyone because no one is answering their phone and I feel lonely and I don’t feel good. :'(
I just said I could work an extra night next week, but on those nights I see my psychologist and I don’t like it when things don’t go in routine. My little girl side of me doesn’t like it and it’s upsetting. I usually get my mum to console me or make my decision for me she’s not answering her phones. She tells me “Call me, okay? I’ll answer” and she never ever ever does. >.> So lonely and so tired. I haven’t been to bed yet.
I feel like cutting. But my arm is still so raw and sore.
Everything feels so out of place!!!! I can’t handle it. My routine is messed up and I don’t like commitments, nope nope nope. No I don’t want to commit.
15 comments
Hey Slayer girl! What’s up? 🙂
Cutting is gross you know? 🙁
I’m not trying to be mean or anything… you seem lonely?
I don’t like cutting, but I’ve got scars I’m desperately trying not to regret because once I start regretting a permanent aspect of my body, I’ll break down.
Yeah, I’m lonely.
Also ily Slayer 😛
Bottom line. You have a child inside you. A baby that has no choice but to be born. If you can’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of her. It’s not fair to her. Consider adoption to a loving family who desperately want a child but can’t have one. Give her the life you would want for her but you can’t give her.
If you are cutting, you have no business having a child. You’re not a bad person, you just are dealing with depression, anger, and anxiety.
I’m a mother. Those little bundles of joy? They also fuss. Cry. Keep you up at night until the brink of exhaustion. Test your patience. Your strength. Are you up for this?
You have to teach them. Be a role
Model as best you can for them. You will slip. We all do. But until you can get your cutting and the root of your emotional issues under control, having a baby alone is something you shouldn’t be doing.
Please get help and fast. Do if for your baby and yourself.
Well…just re read your post. I thought it said “the little girl inside of me” meaning a baby girl. You meant the little girl SIDE of you.
Sorry about that.
Well, at least maybe you’ll think twice about getting pregnant anytime soon.
Lol 🙂
At least you went the distance.
Don’t worry! I don’t plan to have a baby girl until I’ve got a steady life and job. 😛 Thanks for all that though! I’ll remember it when I’m thinking about kids.
Damn… I just read your other posts.
And all of the sudden my life feels like a fucking cakewalk.
If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. We can talk on this site or through email, either’s fine with me. I just know it feels better to get it off of your chest sometimes.
darkfireflyangel@hotmail.com
I keep thinking my life is easy and I shouldn’t be struggling when I think about everyone else. I use to cut deeper so my problems would be big enough for people to care. I wish more bad things would happen to me, so that I was worth the care.
you are worth the care.
those unwilling to give you care,,,,, they aren’t worth it.
Wha.. huh?
He’s repeating that to himself! 😉
Keep it up squidy!
Lol, I thought my comment posted first, but that turned up perfectly.. 😀
Hey, check your email Firefly, I sent you something 🙂
Just hang in there. You’re worth the care to all of us here.