Hello, my name is Chelsea.. I’m 12. My whole life I have been told I have a gift. That i was special and smart and the total opposite of average. It doesn’t matter anymore, i havent made an impact yet and other kids younger than me already have. Everything hs gone downhill since my parents divorced when I was 3. I’ve lived with my mom in a cheap apartment until a drunk driver + an 18-wheeler totaled our car in an accident. I turned 10, My mom quit her job to care for me, since she couldn’t drive to her job. We finally moved into a house with my dad. We were a family again, I was extremely happy. My parents argued and argued and it was frustrating that they couldn’t get along. My sister was finally out of the hospital and the tension ceased for a while. Not even a year later, my mom took me and kennedy and moved 4 hours away until a new city with my grandmother. We have to from city to city for hospitals for my sister. I don’t talk to my mom or dad that much anymore, and when I do I yell at them. I hate yelling at them but I’m so angry at why I’m in this situation. Recently my mom took me to court to take care of their second divorce which kills me. My mom is stressed out and I feel like Im just here to take my parents money and spend it. I feel homeless and useless and i cant do anything about it. No one will just sit and give me a hug anymore and Im going insane. Im too much of a coward to go and kill myself, even though My insurance money would bless my mom and she would have way more than $24 in her pocket. I dont see how “special” or “important” i am. Im just a stupid cowardly girl who wouldnt be able to survive an hour in the world alone, so why even bother living of im completely useless, right? All I do is make everyone cry. I miss my dad. I love my mom and i dont want her to be broke anymore. I dont want her to cry. I dont want to yell at her anymore. I just want to stop being useless. I cant change anything about anything no matter how hard I try.
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I know how you feel…I have been through too much. I’m 8 months clean but still thoughts creep into my mind. I want to help people…text me? 19494846924
I guarantee you’re not useless. If you did kill yourself, I could almost bet your parents would be devastated. I know where you’re coming from though. My parents are divorced and my brother was in and out of prisons and mental institutions until he ran away. I’ve thought the same way you have. If I die, my mom wouldn’t have to waste money on me, she could pay bills, buy a new car, etc. In reality that’s bullshit. If you do kill yourself, your parents would have to pay for your funeral how you are disposed off, not to mention the emotional distress they’d be going through while all of this is happening. I’ve actually caused my family hurt though. From what you’re saying, it seems your family has been in a bad way for a while, and you feel responsible. That’s normal. Have you ever been arrested? Have you ever once been homeless? Have you had to sell drugs to make it day to day? Have you ever mugged anyone? I’m guessing not. I’m not attacking you i’m just trying to give you a little perspective. I’ll still be here if you still wanna talk.
Hi Chelsea, its definitely not a happy situation you find yourself in. But I want you to know its also not an uncommon one. As for being useless, or not being able to survive in the world, here’s a simple fact. You’re 12. You’re not expected to be able to survive in the world, because you’re still an adolescent. That doesn’t mean your feelings are invalid, don’t take me the wrong way there. You’ve got a lot going on with your parents situation, and that’s always going to affect the children, and having a sister who’s in the hospital a lot must concern you. But there is also probably a lot of hormonal changes that all teens experience at your age that can cause anger issues, and feelings of insecurity, or uselessness. God knows I went through it. My parents and I were at each others throats all the time through out my teenage years, hell even into my twenties. But eventually I grew out of it, and you will too. My advice to you is just take a step back, and relax. Let yourself just be a kid instead of internalizing what you can’t control. If you feel you’re not useful around the house or to your mother, make an effort to do things for her, without being asked. That goes a long way. If you find yourself getting angry and starting to yell, remind yourself how unhappy that makes you, take a deep breath, and start over. But most of all realize, those feelings are still going to be there. Its part of being young.
What’s the gift you have? Tell me how is it people think you’re above average? Curious…
yo chelsea, probably u dont know why people are getting divorced because ure too young but these problems are pretty common in this world.. it will be better believe me just give it some time..