Six months I was with her. More than twenty break-ups; her leaving me, her making me feel like I was worthless. One day we’d be fine and the next day she’d break my heart. I know guys are supposed to move on with no problem, but with her it’s different. I was in a horrible depression when I met her. She knew exactly how to make me happy, exactly how to cheer me up and bring a smile to my lips.
Her name is Trixie. She’s the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Every day I tried my best to make her happy, I tried my best to be a good boyfriend to her. But she kept lying, kept using me, kept leaving me for other guys and coming back. Call me a fool for taking her back every time she came, but I loved her so much that I was willing to do anything for her. I cut her name into my wrists, promised her that I would give anything to make her happy. But the more and more I gave, the more and more she used me.
She began to break me down, piece by piece. She knew every kink in my armour and used every weakness to her advantage. I was so blind by my love for her that I didn’t know how much she was hurting me. Yesterday she left me again; spurned me and left for someone else. I have no friends, no family, no one to talk to and take consolation. She was all I had, and to be without her is unbearable. I tried to hang myself today, the belt broke. I have no idea what to do, where to go, who to talk to. She was the one who made me feel like I was worth something to the world, that I meant something to someone, and without her, I once more feel worthless depressed. I don’t know what to do; perhaps soon, I will finally kill myself.
5 comments
you cut her name into your wrists? uh
Forgive me for my judgmental nature, but from what you’ve given, your obsessiveness was extremely unhealthy on one end let alone her manipulative nature on the other, after the 3rd break up or whatever you should have assessed yourself and her and your relationships with her and explored the reasons for the disruption and what caused it to fall apart, perhaps you did, but i feel like you didn’t if those obstacles continually devastated your relationship over and over and it was clear there was no way you could work around them. At that point you should have been aware that there was no hope for it and the best option was to move on, it’s not too late to do this though. Give yourself some time and forgive yourself and her and reflect on your relationships and use this constructively to learn how to not make the same mistakes as before and set up a criteria for your future significant other in which they must be respectful to you as an absolute basis. Perhaps you should see a doctor, that level of obsessiveness is not healthy or normal at all
What’s in a name?
I’d be afraid that someone who grew up w/ a name like “trixie” would have indeed learned a few tricks, and perhaps developed into a trickster. That’s probably part of the appeal.
I know what you are going through man, and I’m really sorry you’ve been through all this.
My girl recently left me too. We were together for almost 6 years and gonna get married. She just up and left. I spent all my money on her and she left when things got rough..just like that.
But we both have to be strong and move on man. It’s time to rebuild new armor. Find the inspiration wherever you can to believe in yourself and push forward into the future. It’s gonna be ok, just keep moving forward.
I never say it gets better because sometimes it does not but I will tell you this, and this is something I do know, when it comes to relationships ending, it almost always gets better, in your case dude let her go she is only going to keep doing this until you do end up dead, you deserve better, and better is out there. I could use a friend, I never spent much time making any growing up and here I am 51 years old with no real friends, if you need a friend who cares about you then get in touch with me, I’m not gay or even bi, just a guy realizing he did a few things the wrong way.
Hmmm. I know you’re gonna hate hearing this but a girl named Trixie, like a true stripper, will live up to the stripped title and do all to take you for what you’ve got that she wants. If she continually leaves you and you always take her back, OF COURSE she’s gonna keep milking you for all you got. It’s like having a bank that will keep giving you money everytime you ask no matter how many times you’ve promised to pay it back and don’t. Purposefully don’t pay it back. This girl has been working you like a client for 6 months. I know a thing or two about strippers/hookers. Let that hooker drop off your map. She just gonna keep using you until you’ve got absolutely nothing left. You think you don’t have anything to lose now? Wait til she’s done with you. Then you won’t have a soul. You found yourself a succubus.
And I know you probably don’t like me saying that about her as it hurts but the truth is better than bs and one liners about fucking fish.