“Things will get better” is what people usually say when you’re depressed.I don’t see that happening I see things getting worse.I tell my “friends” i just feel like dying.They don’t even ask whats wrong,They just tell me to not give up.I have all these feelings and things trapped inside of me.I figure if I go they wouldn’t care.School is worse I like to be one of those non social kids the more I get away the more noticeable I am. I’m fine with people calling me weirdo no one is normal but being called the devil,Satan,Satanic because of my music and my style really gets to me.I have the greatest boyfriend but I worry sick that he’ll leave me.. not like every typical girl that thinks he’ll leave me because he’s so popular no its because he’s going to another school since he’s a year older.That’s not the reason why I’m about to die not at all.I’ve always had the feeling that my life would suck.Since 1st grade I was bullied for being so girly and soft it lasted all my childhood.My parents were getting a divorced as well. Instead of coming home to happy family after getting beat up and teased at school….It was my dream.Once i got to 5th grade I started to stand up ,my parents got back together but i still felt like something in my life was missing or something.6th grade was the hardest…. 6th and 7th grade was when the whole devil and satanic thing started.My family says I’m on my “emo phase”b because all i wear is black and have my hair over my eyes.I self harm once in a while mostly when i feel sad or mad.I just want to know what the point of life really is?its all bullshit everything good goes to hell.Nothing lats forever,we all die, we al get sick,we all suffer and feel pain.Why not just end it and stop the pain.I fake the smiles.the laughs so people don’t worry I want them to feel what i felt when they didn’t care about me.I was so strong back then even though I got bullied.didn’t have a family and i still managed I never thought about suicide so why now that i have everything? I hope my friends will be happy im gone..
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I rather doubt that they would be happy about you dying. Its very true that nothing lasts forever the point I suppose is to enjoy the good things while they do last and endure the pain until it ends. As for the comments..i realize its easier said then done but you shouldn’t let things like that get to you so long as you and the people close to you know that it isn’t true what does it matter?(If those close to you think it as well then they probably aren’t as close as you think)
You were strong then you can be strong now just hang on.
Thank you for having the time to answer my selfish needs.I’ll take the advice you gave me.