I started cutting a little bit back in March. I had never done it before then. I was panicking, crying and really upset and angry with my family. I didn’t know how to calm myself down and then i just picked up a pin and started poking at my wrists. Eventually I bled a little bit and it freaked me out. I did this twice in the spring. Then I was doing better but tonight I got really upset again and jealous of my younger sister. I got really mad and felt really helpless. I didn’t know how to handle myself again and grabbed the scissors and started poking my wrists. I never cut deep I just poke at them until they bleed and then I usually get kind of freaked out and stop. I used to be one of those people who was really (per say) disturbed by the idea of cutting and didn’t understand the logic. I don’t exactly know how I got started or why. This is only my third time but I don’t want it to become a habit. Also, I promise I’m not doing it for attention, I have never told anyone nor has anyone seen my wrists. I am only writing about it on this blog because its anonymous. I don’t want to talk about it with anyone I know, or freak anyone out.
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1 comment
I gotta say you’ve had a similar experience cutting to me. I used to think people who cut were weird as heck. I remember telling a psychologist, when I did begin to cut myself, I still distanced myself from the ’emos’.
You don’t have to justify why you cut bro. Cutting for attention isn’t some cop out, its serious if you feel that people aren’t giving you enough support that you feel you need to do something drastic like that to prove it.
Don’t worry too much about it turning into a habit. I cut on off. When I first started I would cut every weekend, but that was cause I was pretty severe back then. Now its the occasional moment where things have been very stressful. I think you should be commended for not wanting it to get out of hand, many people do want it to get worse.
I think my best advice for you is to deal with your triggers. It seems you’re getting triggered by specific events before doing it, so you have to find some way of sorting that out. It might seem confusing or impossible at first but I bet 99% you have the answers inside you already.
Keep us updated 🙂