Well I’m still around. Just want to post to encourage myself and maybe others to keep trying. Im not sure If Ive gotten any better over the last 8 months. A lot of meds, counselling and quitting addictions and I’m still suicidal.
Hey there. I am a newly recovering addict. I was getting pretty close to death with my addictions alone.
I thought the suicide longings would subside with sobriety. Not so. They got worse. Fiercely worse. If it wasn’t for ill grandmother and dog, I don’t know that I would be here.
I now realize I used because 1) I didn’t care if I died and 2) I was attempting to mask the discomfort of being a self-harming addict with booze and drugs.
Learning how to not kill myself has been the hardest part of sobriety. I call suicide hotlines, my gransmother, text a trusted friend, draw, journal, and sometimes I just let myself be what it wants (a sobbing, crying, and shakened mess).
I’ve been posting here for about 8 months I think. And I am still here. I don’t know that I’ll never suicide, but I guess I can make it through tonight.
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Hey there. I am a newly recovering addict. I was getting pretty close to death with my addictions alone.
I thought the suicide longings would subside with sobriety. Not so. They got worse. Fiercely worse. If it wasn’t for ill grandmother and dog, I don’t know that I would be here.
I now realize I used because 1) I didn’t care if I died and 2) I was attempting to mask the discomfort of being a self-harming addict with booze and drugs.
Learning how to not kill myself has been the hardest part of sobriety. I call suicide hotlines, my gransmother, text a trusted friend, draw, journal, and sometimes I just let myself be what it wants (a sobbing, crying, and shakened mess).
I’ve been posting here for about 8 months I think. And I am still here. I don’t know that I’ll never suicide, but I guess I can make it through tonight.