Slowy dieing of loneliness and a broken heart :'(
Monthly Archives
September 2014
New here. I have battled bi-polar and major depression for years. Spent almost 4 years more in the hospital than out of it. Been on enough meds to support a pharmacy, 18 ECT treatments, you name it. From when I was first diagnosed, at 21, until I was 33, I had one therapist who stuck with me, no matter what. And I threw some major drama at him back in the day. It has seemed that I have to rise from the ashes every day, and each time, there is less of me there. Now 45, My physical health has deteriorated; back surgery, thyroid problems, […]
I’ve been doing much better since I posted on here last. It really helped talking to people that actually understood how and why I felt the way I did. It also made me realise that even people that don’t know me, care. They will take the time to discuss all the bad shit as to where your friends no longer have time for it and you just need to snap out of it . Anyways I just wanted to say thank you.
I can relate with so many of you. I grew up in a family where my father was an alcoholic and incredibly abusive. My ever step or sniffle was a possible cause for a beating if he had too much to drink. As I got older I internalized all the abuse. I attempted suicide will pills but it never worked. I used to pray every night that God would take me away. God obviously had other plans. I had a horrific case of anorexia as I tried to control my life. Not eating didn’t help…I was tiny and people treat tiny people like china, but […]
the vampire diaries is her favorite show, so here i am, on a saturday night, by myself as always, watching this show and seeing all of these romantic loving relationships, something i wanted so badly with her. i refuse to live my life without her, i cant do it. the only reason im being a miserable loser here is because i wont allow anybody close to me know that i feel this way. once i grow a pair and actually decide to end it, theyll never see it coming.
how do I know when there are comments on threads I commented on or threads I have started.. even if I click subscribe I don’t get anything… is there a place on this site I can see it all
Hey, what’s new? Nothing? Well me too. Just been feeling down. I only have 2 BFFs and I spend most of my time on the internet. I’m usually loud, crazy and fun. Now? I’m different. I’m sort of feeling depressed and crying about the littlest things. (No it isn’t menstruation).
I’m new to this website. Don’t hate please.
Just had to get that out there. I’m in 6th grade by the way. I have a scary grandma that makes me cry a lot. I have a loving grandpa and dad. Also I have a dog named Cassie. If you meet my grandma, […]
I haven’t been here in a while, since I have had a period of happiness. Or at least I thought I had it.
I recently got into highschool. I decided to change schools, since everyone in my past school were either complete idiots or were indifferent with my existence (my so called friends). I always felt alone and depressed. And it was worse when someone was with me, saying things like “I’m there for you”. It hurt the most because those were fake words, and people just could say them like if it was nothing, and then they could just walk away, making me feel […]
Im not sure were to start I’ve read a few posts here before but nothing more. For nearly three years I’ve wanted to die. I’ve attempted 4times only twice officially. I’ve had a mild drug problem for a year or so i think.
Im not really looking for pity or nothing im just tired im tired of it all. Im always looking for new methods as oding never works but i think what i need is a partner I’ve never been brave enough to die alone
planning on trying again after a special event in November. That should give me enough time to find someone who’ll come […]
Hello everybody. I really hate alot of things about myself. I am also sick with social anxiety and clinical depression. I recently discovered that I’m transsexual. I’m an 18 year old attending college to get a mechanical engineering degree. I feel like if I transition I’m going to destroy everything I worked for because I heard that workplaces just hate hiring transgender people. I also feel like if I transition I’m going to end up still looking manly due to being fat, acne ridden and hairy. I am also half black and from what I researched and understand black male to female transgender people don’t […]
When we run out of vision, we’re running on empty and the need to stop the pain becomes paramount.
Maybe in a fit of homicidal anger we can fly in the face of the body’s hardwired DNA to preserve its life.
But the challenge of life is to move into the higher dimension in this same body. Is it do-able? As a fully paid-up, card-carrying manic depressive I can only nod dumbly.
I’ve seen my body change numerous times, morphing into all kinds of different shapes. Currently my ‘look’ is ’52 year old post-menopausal woman who has let herself go’. Yet this is not ‘me’. It’s a disguise […]
I hate life. I made an entire 7 page long story telling u guys y I recently tried to kill myself. And now I accidentally deleted it… God I hate life
Tell me, what’s so great about being at college, this fucking college life? It’s suppose to be the best time of your life and since I’ve been here, this has been the worst 2 weeks probably in my life. Before I left to come here, do I dare say I was happy? I think that’s what happiness was, being surrounded by people who love you, don’t make you question their intentions and people who are around you just for the sake of enjoying your company. We didn’t really do much, we constantly just sat around smoking weed and talking, enjoying being with one another, but […]
On PlayStation Network I made an account called TransGirly. I intended it as sort of a beacon – other people who were either Transgender or questioning such could message me if they ever saw me on PlayStation Home and add me as a friend. There’s always strength in numbers, and that’s what I was going for. To have a circle of friends who could depend on one another if they needed it.
Today while I was on Home, two people approached me. They had club tags that read [<3 Jesus]. One of them began preaching to me about the rapture, how it was upon us, and […]
I my name is G.O. and i have 15 years, i know dat maybe im too young, but my life has been shit since mmmm ever?My family is so f***** up, my dad is a bastard, since i was 4 he would always beat me up and my mum would only say”ohh it’s your fault, u know how is ur father” … 3 years ago my dad divorced from that slut of my mum”she was a gold digg, i could always see her wit some dude, my dad didn t care, he was whoring 2…”
Then at 12 i thinked that i could become happy witout […]
Ah man, the 2 year mark is closing in on me. It’s gonna be here so fast, i don’t even have proper time to prepare myself. It’ll just hit me, like everything hits me.
Like the memories that creep in, late at night. Or the details i don’t want to forget. Or the feelings, the emotions, every little thing my heart and soul feel. It always hits me, when i’m least prepared. Late nights, lonely late nights.
There’s still so much sadness.
And then there’s anger.
Because for fucks sake, i hate it when people ask if “im over it yet”. Or when people say we […]
My dad just came in my room and pretty much told me I’m an asshole. Then he said that I just like to make everybody miserable. I don’t even know why he made a point to say that he loves me, when clearly he’s just miserable he has to be with me.
I used to love my dad but now he just makes me feel so worthless. I’ve had suicidal thoughts for a long time now. But he just keeps pushing me further and further.
The worst part is that he doesn’t even know. He doesn’t know that I feel depressed, or that I want to kill […]
The feeling of being hurt can not fully be described unless you feel it.. you feel it in your soul, in everything you do.. its around you and eventually becomes you and defines you.
Being hurt cuts like a knife.
Once you feel it so many times, you begin to convince yourself that this is how it’s meant to be for you. That feeling of constant rejection, confession, DISAPPOINTMENT.
Hurt can not be covered up with words. Words fade. But hurt doesn’t. You only learn to live with it but once you learn, your hurt all over again, only this time it’s greater than before… […]
she was my motivation for college. now shes gone. i am nothing. there is no point anymore.
Hi…
just like everybody else on this site.. I was looking for easy ways to kill myself.
Reading the stories and all the comments…makes me feel less alone when it comes to suicide. I had a few attempted suicides that didn’t work, clearly.
But that feeling of depression comes and goes and most times it feels like it just needs to end.
I’m in my 20?s and thought this would never happen to me. Just a day ago I was living on cloud 9, I had it all; an amazing boyfriend and devoting best friend. But my insecurity and past issues caught up with me.. now I have […]