The clock is ticking …

I will notice…. :'(

Health and finances and lost love. Very hard things to deal with. Especially all at once. It certainly doesn’t have to be the end though. I am not just attempting to relate to you and your situation. I am relating to it as I have been there myself. And faith….that’s all I heard. I still struggle with so much myself. I came a blink away from not being here any longer. I still wonder….cause I wanted to and was expecting to and really thought it should have happened. I chose to go out by a self inflicted shot. I’m not foreign to guns. And as I squeezed on the trigger…… I kept waiting for it, hoping for it, expecting it. And I kept adding more and more pressure. And then I stopped with pressure still on. For one I couldn’t believe that it hadn’t fired yet…..then I emotionally lost it. And I stopped all the way and let the pressure on the trigger go. There was so much going wrong, still is really. At that point I was days away from homeless, buried in debt, and emotionally ring out from a massive love problem. Did abandoning my suicide plans fix everything? No…..I still became homeless, I am still buried in debt and struggling day to day financially, and that wound from my broken family has only gotten deeper….but I’m still here, still trying. Isn’t that worth something? Is it enough….I don’t know, but it’s something. It’s a start. Im slowly making a new life, a new point for me, a new beginning. You can do the same as well. Will not be easy, but you can. I have my health problems as well. I don’t wish to go into them. I have come to know some understanding people and that has helped more than they know. I am here for you. I am understanding. Maybe I can be a help to you if you allow.