i was thinking of trying to relocate to a dangerous city and get killed somehow that way. what do you think? i will probly be leaving here soon i’m too much of a bother and i would like to go before my 33 birthday
im 32 years old, i shouldnt be living with my parents and i shouldnt be job less but because of my stupid choices thats what happened and were i am. i have these ugly tatoos and a criminal thing in my background from when i was 19 that wont go away and the jobs that hired me in the past i messed them all up so cant use them as a reference and destroyed my reputation. I dont live in a real big city and i used to wonder why i would apply to jobs and they wouldnt call back, took me a few years to realize i messed up too badly and nobody was going to call back for a job. My parents dont tell me to leave but i know they dont like it and if i start feeling like its really stressing one of them out by being here then i’m going to have to leave. it would be selfish to stay. i was in a homeless shelter for the past couple years and sometimes i think i belong in some type of environment like that since i have all these scars and my mom says i look like a delinquent. i dont think thats what her and my father wanted of their only daughter but the guilt just only makes my depression even worse so you see its a neverending cycle.i need to start looking at other options i dont want to do something impulsive and have them find a dead body and have to clean up its not fair to them and very selfish. i
Hmm. Here is an idea… write a letter to go with the resumes. Say something like what you did above…example…’ I made some poor choices. I made a mistake when I was 19 etc… but I am more mature now and I won’t let you down. I just need someone to give me a chance. Please.’ That might make just one employer decide to hire you. It can’t hurt right? hugs
Yeah but you’ll be completely at the mercy of a murderous criminal. What if they decide to torture you for a long time? Surely thatd be worse than where you are now.
just thinking about that makes me nashus. your right but too many times even in locally i’ve hitchiked with strangers and weirder looking people than me. some times i wondered why they took me to my destination without murdering me and was kind of disapointed. but i suppose your right it would be worse than i am now than again i’ve been tortured already whats a little more if i get to finally die at the end or it pushes me to be able to act on something like jumping or looking for lethal drugs which i havent really tried
thanks thats a good idea. i have a couple of places i’m doing volounteer work for so when i apply for a job somewere i can try that as well. if i am able to stay here or find another homeless shelter somewere
I’m sorry looking4peace that you have reached a stage that means you are looking for desperate measures to end your life. I feel like you, an outsider in this life but reading your first post here I know you’ve gone through so much more in you life. The one thing is the difficulty of ending it all which has led me to the conclusion that I’m not sure if I can, it’s such a hard thing to want the bad things to end and believe suicide is the only answer, I keep asking if something will change. I hope you can keep going and try to ignore those who put you down, I know how hard it is, every time someone says something it causes such mental pain but you don’t deserve this. Don’t think you’re a bother to anyone, you are not and it’s not a reason to kill yourself, I hope you keep posting.
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Hugs
i was thinking of trying to relocate to a dangerous city and get killed somehow that way. what do you think? i will probly be leaving here soon i’m too much of a bother and i would like to go before my 33 birthday
How are you too much of a bother?
im 32 years old, i shouldnt be living with my parents and i shouldnt be job less but because of my stupid choices thats what happened and were i am. i have these ugly tatoos and a criminal thing in my background from when i was 19 that wont go away and the jobs that hired me in the past i messed them all up so cant use them as a reference and destroyed my reputation. I dont live in a real big city and i used to wonder why i would apply to jobs and they wouldnt call back, took me a few years to realize i messed up too badly and nobody was going to call back for a job. My parents dont tell me to leave but i know they dont like it and if i start feeling like its really stressing one of them out by being here then i’m going to have to leave. it would be selfish to stay. i was in a homeless shelter for the past couple years and sometimes i think i belong in some type of environment like that since i have all these scars and my mom says i look like a delinquent. i dont think thats what her and my father wanted of their only daughter but the guilt just only makes my depression even worse so you see its a neverending cycle.i need to start looking at other options i dont want to do something impulsive and have them find a dead body and have to clean up its not fair to them and very selfish. i
Hmm. Here is an idea… write a letter to go with the resumes. Say something like what you did above…example…’ I made some poor choices. I made a mistake when I was 19 etc… but I am more mature now and I won’t let you down. I just need someone to give me a chance. Please.’ That might make just one employer decide to hire you. It can’t hurt right? hugs
Yeah but you’ll be completely at the mercy of a murderous criminal. What if they decide to torture you for a long time? Surely thatd be worse than where you are now.
just thinking about that makes me nashus. your right but too many times even in locally i’ve hitchiked with strangers and weirder looking people than me. some times i wondered why they took me to my destination without murdering me and was kind of disapointed. but i suppose your right it would be worse than i am now than again i’ve been tortured already whats a little more if i get to finally die at the end or it pushes me to be able to act on something like jumping or looking for lethal drugs which i havent really tried
thanks thats a good idea. i have a couple of places i’m doing volounteer work for so when i apply for a job somewere i can try that as well. if i am able to stay here or find another homeless shelter somewere
I’m sorry looking4peace that you have reached a stage that means you are looking for desperate measures to end your life. I feel like you, an outsider in this life but reading your first post here I know you’ve gone through so much more in you life. The one thing is the difficulty of ending it all which has led me to the conclusion that I’m not sure if I can, it’s such a hard thing to want the bad things to end and believe suicide is the only answer, I keep asking if something will change. I hope you can keep going and try to ignore those who put you down, I know how hard it is, every time someone says something it causes such mental pain but you don’t deserve this. Don’t think you’re a bother to anyone, you are not and it’s not a reason to kill yourself, I hope you keep posting.
thanks Nias