Well, my life is kinda not how I pictured it. I grew up in a broken family where no one cared for one another. When I was 5-6 years old my father chased my mother and me in a car chase with the intend of killing her but I will never know about me. He was nuts, I’m guessing he was possibly on drugs or something. Then, my parents divorced. I was sent to boarding school for 1st and 2nd grade. I didn’t see much of my parents, my mother was lost and who knows where my father was. Then I floated from one school to another, went to a new one almost every year. Always lived with someone different every few months, never felt at home or loved anywhere. Then got away from all this when I was 17 or 18, did my best to be somewhat accepted somewhere. My twenties were a bit wild, partying, drinking and stuff. Lost someone dear to me. Had a 5 year relationship but I didn’t feel overly special. Then jumped into a 10 year relationship (pretty much overnight), never felt truly special either, this guy brought the worst of me. I am now on my own for almost 2 years, lots of good has come into my life and I am grateful for it. But at the end of the day, the whole time that I have been on Earth, I’ve been homesick. Not the kind of homesick like moving back from where I came from. It’s way more complicated than what it seems. I don’t have a family, never had one and never will have one, it’s much too late. I believe it’s time to go peacefully and release my soul to better consciousness. Love to all.
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Hey I know what you mean I’ve been there I mean my relationships weren’t as long and I never jumped from home to home but my mom and dad were the same and I still feel like I’m not in place I am in a relationship now that’s long distance…again.. she had come out here because I tried saving her from amy abusive family and house her brother would rape her and beat her and her parents always blamed her sometimes she would even be on Skype with me and if see him kicking in her door and have to watch the struggle as he forced her. I saved her from that but she ended up having to go back to finish school for the next 4 months and the day she got he still did it. I have been through a lot in my life but this is the worst for me but trust me even when it seems like I can’t make it anymore I pull it together as hard as I can it takes will power and I can tell just by you posting this that you have a lot of power to just say no and be who you are ad that’s the hardest step but as long as you look for the best in things and just try to brush off the negative you willike be just fine trust me I’ve attempted suicide and it’s the worst thing ever. Even if you think no one will miss you trust me they will especially the people you would never expect. Just saying from a friend to a friend I hope this helps and if you ever want to talk my email is ericmartorana@yahoo.com add me on Facebook or you can add me on Skype my Skype is styleouttt 🙂