I want to just die

I want to die. Everyday, the people closest to me convince me that im worthless and I can never do anything right. Today was the closest I’ve been to killing myself. About to step off and hang from the rope in my basement, I couldn’t commit. I don’t have the guts to end my suffering and save everyone from the troubles of dealing with my now hollow, angry, and hopeless persona. I dont remember the last time I was happy, I can’t even laugh anymore. I keep trying to end my sadness, however in vain my attempts. I know I will meet my end soon. I impatiently await the day  I finally decided to end it, finally shed the cowardly shell that is my fear. Happieness in nothing is all I will want to not feel.