Pre-thought: Though this isn’t my typical depressive rant-type style of writing, it’s still majorly important. I would like feedback on what you guys think.. Anyway..
Today, as I was scrolling through my news feed on Facebook, flipping through pictures, I came across an interesting topic.. Can kids/teenagers have depression? Umm.. DUHH. Yeah, they can. I would know, seeing as I have depression. I’ve had it for most of my life. However, there was this guy on there that disagreed with this STRONGLY. So strongly, in fact, that he went as far as to generalize all types of depression into one category (and certainly a category excluding kids/teens). I was really upset when I read it. He said basically that teenagers/kids CAN’T have depression because the only thing that causes depressive feelings with this age group is boy/girl problems. At this point, I was so pissed off that I was laughing. How dare he group all kinds of depression together? But then, as I was thinking about it, I started feeling really sorry for him. How ignorant he must be, to think that all types of depression are the same and caused by the same thing. I mean, sure, boy/girl problems do tend to cause sadness/depressive moods. But seriously.. Those are serious problems with some people. While adults like this guy may look at it and be like, “Please, that’s not serious, you’re just being dramatic”.. Some people (including yours truly) struggle with things like abandonment issues. With emotional trauma from someone walking out on them in the past. With attachment issues. You name it. There are probably hundreds of reasons why this may be traumatic for someone. I know for me, the first three examples I gave just now really do apply to me. Not even necessarily in the boyfriend/girlfriend sense. Anything, anything at all that happens, whether it be a friend walking out of my life, or someone in my adoptive family.. Well.. I struggle deeply with feelings like their leaving is entirely my fault, I’m the one to blame, it’s no wonder they did it (because I’m stupid and pathetic), etc.. You name it. There are hundreds of reasons for hundreds of scenarios. So when I read this guy’s ignorant comment, I couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit sorry for people who know him. He’s an ignorant asshole who needs to learn how to have a bit more empathy/sympathy. I didn’t comment on his comment though. Because even though I feel all alone and frustrated with my feelings toward some things, my opinion was certainly not in the minority. I counted at least 20-30 comments, all telling him that what he was saying was not factual, and was certainly not okay. I was so very glad to see that happen. I was so glad, in fact, that I actually smiled about it. Not a sarcastic smile, not a smug one, but a genuine smile. I am so relieved that there are people in this world who understand what it is like for teens/kids with depression, even if it is just enough understanding to stand up for those of us who are being falsely criticized by people like him.
Yours in All Survivorishness,
LostandLonelySoul
P.S. If you made it through this far, thank you. It means a lot to have my voice heard.. Even if it is just one person!
4 comments
I’ve heard a lot of dismissive one-line explanations for depression, mostly from the pulpit, like “depression is anger turned inward”, etc. This guy is just in his ego, etc.
I think there are many causes, and I don’t think we’ll ever know them all. Yes, thoughts can give rise to depression, but that’s only part of it, even if we mistakenly confuse our almighty thoughts with reality.
It sounds like he minimized heartbreak. It’s not just boy-girl, girl-girl, boy-boy projections. In the same way that young healthy bodies easily can create a pregnancy (easier than for fifty somethings with mileage on their swimmers or eggs), teens bond can bond easily and tightly. These are strong biochemical floods.
Drugs may not cause depression, but withdrawls can, and drugs can bring to the surface mental illness vulnerabilities.
Medical conditions can throw the body’s balance off, which can cause depression.
Grief, trauma, loss … can all upset the balance and cause depression.
We live in an age of unprecedented bombardment of information, some of which is designed to create fear, the excess of which is overwhelming. Being in a prolonged state of overwhelm can cause you to go numb or get depresseed.
And let’s not forget the unknown or unprovable causes such as spiritual parasites. ;^)
Although it can be helpful to have your feelings or condition validated, you can’t rely upon getting that in life.
Sadly, there will always be ignorant people.
I think you gave that guy too much credit by feeling sorry for him. He needs to suffer more.
I hate whenever someone dismisses someone else’s pain, but it really burns me up when people dismiss someone’s pain because “they’re too young to know what pain is”.
The issues we face in youth are the same issues we face in old age. So a 16 year old is being a drama queen for being depressed after a breakup, while a 40 year old man is justified in being depressed after his marriage goes sour? Same thing. In fact the 16 year old has more right to feel pain since she hasn’t built up a tolerance yet.
How about a teen being depressed because he doesn’t have any friends. Is that any different than a 60 year old man hiding in his house making no social contact?
Social problems are the same regardless of age. Depression is the same regardless of age. I wanted to kill myself when I was 10 and I still want to kill myself 30 years later, for basically the same reason: I just don’t belong in this world.
Depression is a very real threat to younger people, and if it’s not addressed seriously, it’ll carry on through an entire lifetime. Don’t let anyone tell you that your depression isn’t “real”. Only you can decide that.
Lol what a douche.
I wish people who don’t know what they’re talking about would take the time to listen to people that do instead of spreading their ignorance.