Anxiety

this is going to sound dumb. learn to meditate? find something like reading or listening to music that allows you to focus on something other than yourself. oh, that’s really good, too…. getting outside yourself. volunteer. i find people very scary so i volunteer with pitbulls instead. i do their laundry, clean cages and walk them. i’m not sure if i’m allowed to comment on this here but…. valerian root is a very good, natural, over-the-counter anti-anxiety thing… i don’t leave the house without it but i do not use it more than a couple times a week and only when i absolutely need some calm. over 500mg puts me to sleep but a little less is excellent. it smells horrible but that’s fine, it’s not meant to wear as perfume. l-theanine is a little more expensive and a little weaker. i’ve heard kava kava works, too, but never tried it personally. anxiety and depression are very self centered things. so…. re-direct that energy. stop caring so much about yourself and how you look and what you’re going through. give that energy to something productive. it will suck at first. it will always suck at first… life sucks. it’s fine, though. think of a person you admire or whom you think is “cool” or whatever. what do they do or have that you don’t? are those things achievable for you? in small steps? in a couple years… you could work on your appearance bit by bit, your social skills, your school, whatever it is for you… bit by bit. fuck the people now. look retarded in front of them. learn in front of them. try things out and fail in front of them. fuck them. when you’ve made progress… move on to new people. (you’ll find you won’t have to, though…)…….. so. cutting never worked, btw. just to make that clear. find value in yourself. if you can’t, work on it. work on both yourself and your perception of yourself. be okay with learning in life. be okay with people watching you learn. now or later… it’s gotta be done.