good god, what a depressing reality it must be to never grow out of the mindset that keeps you stuck like you are. I am a survivor, I am hopeful, I am powerful. I am strong enough to know, the world isn’t so bad, you need to change cities, change jobs, do something drastic, besides hurting yourself or others. You haven’t even experienced the world yet, trust me things change all the time, in 5 years things won’t be so shitty, and if they still are change something! Do something, I’ve found what helped me, was helping others, giving my love out for free knowing and expecting I wouldn’t get it back. People, if you can just realize, the world owes you nothing, it is up to you to create your destiny, sure life gets tough, but nut up, put a smile on a keep on trucking! Leaving this site for good because obviously all of you must be misguided teens with daddy / mommy issues… Get some help and learn to enjoy the little things!!!! See life as the bigger picture, not just what is wrong. Focus on being positive and that will be your new reality. Thinking its habitual, change your habits and your thinking will change too.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
42 comments
That didn’t come off as preachy and presumptuous at all. I can’t imagine why anyone would say it did.
I don’t disagree that a change in mindset can change your reality. But the unfortunate fact is, some people become so beaten down by circumstances, health issues or through simple rapid-fire abuse that they become incapable of fostering a positive thought.
Before you post a lecture, maybe you could take some time and really read the postings others like me have written in the past year and you might find that although some post frivolous “whoa is me” rants others have truly been “ridden hard and put away wet.”
But that’s just my opinion.
Yes, I was thinking the same thing. Suggesting that people “need to change cities, change jobs, do something drastic” assumes a level of mental health status, financial and/or emotional stability that a lot of people here don’t have.
My circumstances are pretty good right now and I have a lot to be very grateful for, but if I tried to move to another city I’d end almost certainly up homeless or a in a psych ward.
Sometimes, leaving a bad situation is what’s necessary, though. And it can help in some cases. That’s pretty much what I had to do, although it’s no panacea, and it’s rarely easy.
Agreed nozmoking. You have a lovely turn of phrase by the way 🙂
I didn’t mean to react in a completely negative way to your post – maybe I’m just having a hard time. I try and encourage positive outcomes when I can and I believe that no matter how bad things get I still must have something left to give back once in a while. I believe that your pain is your pain and one can empathize but we can never truly feel pain the way someone else does. When I hear “it can’t be all that bad” it strikes a nerve, that’s all.
Your outlook and how you cope with things can only take you so far – life circumstances don’t really care whether you’re thinking positively or not, but trying to be more balanced overall is a good strategy to find a way to make life better than it is. Trying to actively change things is probably the hardest part because it means breaking out of your comfort zone and taking risks. With the whole positive thinking strategy, if that risk fails, it can be horribly demoralizing and actually reinforce depressed states.
Yeah well said Xanadu. As if we really want to fell like this…fuck who would? God knows I’ve tried but waaaaaaay too many rotten things now. I’ve had over 50 major life changing events in 53 years. Yet I’ve done more for people than anyone I’ve ever met. So for me I’ve done tons of good selfless acts but keep getting trashed. Therefore I just can’t believe in what andreajonesconrady has posted because reality tells me it’s just not true.
I agree with you. I have spent my life solving everyone else’s problems, and all those good deeds never go unpunished. I suspect that andreajonesconrady is just in denial or too young to have seen the real shadows burned into the walls.
“obviously all of you must be misguided teens with daddy / mommy issues” <— really? you come here giving your unasked for opinion while judging everyone here? I don't know how can stand to look at yourself everyday if this is an example of who you really are.
you may have some valid points but resorting to crass and offensive statements like ‘obviously all of you must be misguided teens with daddy/mommy issues’ is uncalled for.maybe you can try to learn to respect people, sometime?i don’t think it’ll hurt someone as strong, powerful and positive as you to have manners.
Thanks AndreaJonesConrady you right.
I’m Gonna Make A Change For Once In My Life It’s Gonna Feel Real Good Gonna start with the man in the Mirror I’m Asking Him To Change His Ways And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change. The glass is half full
The glass is half full until you drink it, and then it’s empty and you need another beer.
I Was being sarcastic and why am I still banned from crisischat
How can you come onto this site and say something like this? All too often, a lot of us hear these things in real life and come here as a chance to be with like minded individuals who understand it isn’t as easy as you might think it is!!!! And sometimes, it is in fact an illness just as real as any physical thing you might face in your life. You cannot simply change your scenery and do something drastic and things will get better. And kind of like noz smoking said earlier, at times a person is so beaten down they cannot do that and thinking positively is left for someone else to do for them until they can do it again for themselves. I feel the best source of help one can ever have is another person who truly cares and will listen to them as they express their pain. We come here for many different reasons but the fact we are here is we are in pain. We feel drawn to suicide and things of that nature in an effort to fix what we cannot do while alive. Or else we look for support. But the thing is, if we could do what you said in this post than sites like this would not exist. And we would have already done it!!!!
I believe everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt though so maybe you think you are helping and if so ok. But you need to realize that saying things like that may make you very unpopular on a site like this. And if you read back in the posts here and you try and understand where we come from perhaps you will feel differently. Not all of us are teenagers with mom/dad issues ok? I am 26 years old myself and have several severe mental disorders. Psychotic Depression, Borderline Personality, Social Anxiety, Eating Disorder, Ocd, Ptsd, etc. Also, I am chronically Suicidal. I have a chemical imbalance. I am in pain. And though I have many issues for that I am not here whining about it. I am simply here to be with people who understand and to offer help if I can as well. Please, don’t judge another person by what society often portrays us as. Get the facts for yourself!!!!!! Realize it is not as easy as you think!!!!! Thank you!!!!
That’s a lot to deal with Lost26. If I could take all that away from you somehow I would. Much love to you 🙂
What’s scary is when you learn that changing environments or going on vacation or trying a new activity won’t touch your mindset.
I’m friends for life with my shitty brain, and it follows me everywhere.
How do you encourage someone to continue in that state? That’s what depression is.
Kontinkatink, well we all go through a lot here. It just upsets me how some think it is so easy to get out of all of this. Sadly, they don’t even try to understand us and think they do. You are sweet to say what you did and I wish I could take your pain and everyone elses as well!!!! I am one of those who has been a big time reader for several years but only recently started to write comments. So I know of your situation and pray everything works out for you as well!!!! And much love to you in return my friend!!!! Have a wonderful night ok? And thank you again!!!!
You’re very welcome Lost26, and thanks. A lot of people on here are damn fine people. Such a shame we feel this shit 🙁
You’re welcome to message me here anytime. I don’t know what I can do but if I can do it I will 🙂
Thanks so much for leaving that for us. We all so needed a bag of perky positive preacher poop on our doorstep today. Me thinks you know not of what you speak. I say this as a 50-something person who has seen first hand exactly what life has to offer and how truly shitty it is most of the time. Raging on the people here is really exactly what we all needed (not). You, cupcake, are one of the reasons that people like me dislike most of the people out *there* who just think you can reboot by reading cute catch phrases and drink happy koolaid and all will be right as rain with the world. You don’t know jack about any of us, and obviously you think that you are soooo much smarter than everyone here and that you also have the solution to all of life’s problems.
Have fun with your little rose colored denial glasses and your cute rant of brochure-ready tired cliche sayings, and don’t let the door knob hit you on the way out.
God, it was 2000 years ago that those jerks nailed you to that tree – I think it’s time to move on. They’re all dead already and you probably force them to watch Married With Children reruns for all eternity in Hell, anyhow.
I love this post. I talk along the same lines to folks when I come here. Whenever I had come to a point in my life where tings were shitty. I made big changes in my life and things always got better. I say that to many people here all the time. If your depressed because your town is small and nothing but arrogant mean people. then MOVE> If your in a shitty relationship and your significant other is either putting you down or cheating on you > GET OUT of that relationship and find another. If your job is boring to you > quit and find another job. If your life lacks adventure then do something spontaneous>>. Do something you never tried before >>Join a club, go kayaking, take a road trip across country, Mix with different people and try to make new friends. Read some new books, learn something new. Change your career. Change how you act if people in the past don’t respond to you well. Go visit some exciting place for a couple weeks. Like the Grand Canyon or London. Volunteer for an organization that will send you to another country to help people. Something, Try something. there are so many places to travel too. So many different people to meet. Your life doesn’t have to be the same as it has been YOU CAN MAKE THINGS BETTER BUT YOU HAVE TO TRY
this is the best post I have seen on here in a while.
Take up martial arts or get on an exercise routine.
Go mountain biking.
Find activities in your community to get involved with.
go back to school
learn a new language
and YES You can change your mindset
you have to learn to let the past GO
don’t dwell on things of old
start fresh each day.
For me reading and exercising are big parts of my life when I was overcoming depression
Reading exercises your mind and gives you coping skills
exercising your body gives you energy and keeps you healthy and you feel better and look better
challenge yourself to become good at something
try a musical instrument
stay away from negative people and negative influences
This post just makes me want to cry. All I can say is Been there, done all that crap and not one thing in my life has ever gotten better… ever. We (I) just get older, poorer, fatter, uglier, sicker, and less able to go on as we (I) fail repeatedly at everything we (I) try. Exactly how many times do you think we should be kicked in the face by life before we give up on life in your happy little opera of “we shall overcome”?
Oh, what the hell, I’ll play the role of the cynic and humor my ADHD a little. Hey now, we’ve got to overcome the obstacles in our way – we will overcome the overcomers! Never give up on giving up because you CAN be the best giver upper of them all! Think positively – don’t let the nay-sayers into your head, you CAN be good at smiting the mighty smighters.
What?
Eh, positive thinking is the most ambiguous pop-psychology trend in existence. It applies equally to the thinking, “I WILL kill myself, and nobody will get in my way!” and, “I WILL survive, and no obstacle will stop me!” Don’t mind me, I have some loose screws.
Ok. Positive thinking and free will are a myth IMHO. Some of us are just wired badly. Speaking as one with a very old Lucas (prince of darkness) electrical system that has a lot of blown inline fuses.
I don’t think free will is a myth, so much as a very difficult and fleeting thing, but positive thinking is one of the greatest absurdities of popular culture. It’s right up there with ass-obsessions and the idea that paying bills with a credit card makes sense.
xanadu you make me laugh…quite often actually. Thank you.
Thank you, thank you. You’re welcome – I’ll be here all night. 🙂
it’s not that easy!people become sad, depressed and suicidal because more often than not, THEY DON’T HAVE A CHOICE or are stuck in some way.if it was as easy as you suggest then everyone’s life would be frigging perfect.i can’t stand it, this makes me so mad.people like you think they help others, but in fact you’re doing the opposite.you’re blaming the sufferer for suffering!just stop already.
Xanadu, I have to agree with Whisper you my friend are SO funny!!!!! I am quite serious in saying that. How else would you literally make an Old fashioned Christian LOL about that statement made to God about them nailing Him to the tree and He should get over it? I have to admit that was too funny honestly. Yeah, yeah, I will ask forgiveness later………….hahahaha God, hey you need to get over it and forgive me for being so disrespectful to you ok? hahahahaha Love this site and it;s people!!!! Thanks you guys and have a wonderful night to Xanadu, God, (boy, that sounds weird…….lol) Kotankatink and everyone else!!!!
You’re telling a bunch of people on a suicide site to, “…stay away from negative people and negative influences…?”
Uh, too late.
But isn’t that kind of silly to categorize people like that? We’re all cynical and optimistic, all mixed up in a big grab-bag we call humanity.
I believe that helps by saying stay away from negative people and negative influences.. it reminds the suicidal victim of what’s causing their depression.. it’s never to late to stop.. until your 6 feet underground.
How utterly simplistic the OP is with regards to people with various problems and issues here, and find themselves having to struggle through life. Just change something and it’ll all be better; to be fair, it might work on a few but, for the most part, we’ve probably tried that already, I know I have. Depression stays with the individual whatever they do, and sometimes it prevents any change; hell getting up in the morning can be a task let alone moving to a new place to live. If someone is living with social anxiety then that’s very difficult to change, it’s a character trait, becoming part of someones personality, it takes a lot of counselling with no guarantees of a change. In life we have to see happy people getting on with their happy lives, does the OP think we don’t want to be like them, we like wallowing in self pity among ourselves, that happiness is just a change away, well it’s just not that simple. The good thing about SP is, we know what each of us are going through, we may have various problems, but the pain/fear/hopelessness is there for us all.
You may have some good points here, but they are buried under what can be perceived as ignorance, over simplification of complex problems and even arrogance. While I agree with some of what you said in a way, I feel there was a better way to word it.
If it really were that easy …..
I am not justifying this with a long response… Even you should know that changing jobs, changing cities, changing your thinking is not as easy as 1,2,3…
people are in all kinds of different situations
Your post is a load of crap!
Get off this site and go forth and prosper then with the rest of the over optimistic brainwashed world well see you back on here in 5 years time when you get to experience a little more of life……
My therapist loves positive thinking that is her best advise
OP is a troll. Most likely a 17 year old over privileged suburban middle class soiled brat that has never lifted a finger in a hard days effort in their life who is reading but too ***** made to reply.
People that preach the virtues of positive thinking without having a credible “before and after” story should grab their lower lip, pull it up and over their forehead – when they can stop the pain with positive thinking I’ll be convinced.
– peace