So this is my second post here. Could be my last. My previous post I mentioned how I said something dumb to my friends whilst I was high n drugged. It sounded gay I know they told other people about it. For the last two months this has been affected me. I been ashamed to go to gym, couldn’t function at work. My two friends which I normally hang out with would call me to meet on weekends but I would make excuses until two nights ago. They messaged me saying that they are going out to dance n are going to meet other people so I went. We arrived, drank I got really drunk then we went to my friends car n he gave me a pill. I told them I don’t want it but they said don’t worry you’ll be fine. I didn’t want to be a loser so I had it. We went back in to dance there were 8 of us in a group. Whilst dancing I noticed everyone kept turning n looking towards me. I think the way I danced looked funny I couldn’t be there anymore so I told my friend to come outside with me. He came out I told him I’m not feeling right. He asked me earlier why I was avoiding him so I told him everything. I told him that I felt like they betrayed me n told people about my story I even told him I was suicidal. He was shocked then after the entire group came out. I told them I need to go home. I walked out n everyone followed. Now all those people some are unknown think im a freak n I’m sure they even know my dumb story my friends must have told them. My friend said he was disappointed in me. He took me home I told him it’s the last time he’ll see me. He never said much just said that he needs to go back to them now. I can’t bleve how I could fuck up my life like this everyone will think im a dumb fuck.I let this oneI thing screw up everything. My two friends won’t want to hang out with me now. Everyone will look at me as a freak. I can never go back to gym now because I’m ashamed. I can’t even go to the local mall I’m afraid people that I know will see me. I want to kill myself but the pain I will bring to my family, i really dont want them to suffer. My family has a name in the area were we live I am going to ruin it. I work for my brother I’m afraid to die because he won’t have anyone to run the business n not only that he cares about me too much my entire family does. So I’m really lost now n in a mess I can’t bleve what my life has become. This is something I feel cannot be fixed. Can someone please put yourself in my shoes n tell me what would you do?
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these friends gave you a pill and when you said you didn’t want it they insisted and you gave into the peer pressure? Maybe they aren’t such great friends? and maybe you need to stop worrying about what people like that think.
Yeah i think so to. I wish i could change things thow
Have you considered seeing a psychiatrist for your anxiety and paranoid feelings? There are meds out there that can help with that. I would suggest taking a break from these so called friends of yours. Find other things to do, take a break from the gym go running threw the park. Avoid them until it blows over.
Yes I have considered doing so but most people are closed or on holiday. Blows over? I think it already blew over my friends want nothing to do with me now. I’m so Depressed. I only want to be in bed I want to hide from the world especially those who know me
You should look into it after the holidays, I know I am. I have the same worries as you…paranoid feelings and anxiety. Those aren’t people I would call friends, you’re better off without all that negativity in your life. I’m truely sorry this happened to you. Try to look at it as a fresh start.
There’s nothing I can do or say that will change my life. The only way now is to take my own life. I’m embarrassed, ashamed, my confidence is gone, I’m loosing weight, i cant tell anyone that knows me what happened because I’m so ashamed. Nobody will want to know me anymore. I wish i never had any drugs. This must be my karma. Wish something would happen to me instead of me committing suicide.
how old are you? Your making this way bigger then it really is, and when you do that, more problems will emerge. This is just a tiny social problem, thats abosolutley nothing man jesus. The problems people have on here on this site are HUGE compared to this tiny lil situation you have. Its probably the drugs still in your system messing you up, thats what drugs do
That’s also what social phobia does. Causes distortions in the perception of things other people might consider insignificant, and turns them into catastrophic, world-ending, doom-inducing events.
For what it’s worth, I agree w/ krazy (and xanadu). How old are you, paranoid guy? My guess-very young. Guess what? Those “friends” of yours won’t mean anything to you in a few years when you’ve moved up in the world. And let me ask you something..what’s the big deal if they think you are “gay”? Ok you’re not gay. They know that–they are calling you “gay” because you showed emotion. Guess what else? It’s OK TO SHOW EMOTION. It’s not “gay”. Your friends need to grow up. Stop thinking from the pack mentality and be who you are. Stop thinking the world is over because a couple of immature d-bags are giving you a hard time. Stand tall w/ your head up and ignore them. If you let them get to you, they win. No one suffers except you. They don’t care about your drama as much as you think they do. You are hurting yourself. Get around ppl who accept you for you.
Yes I never was able to talk in groups unless I’m really used to the people. I tend to say stupid things. So I rather keep quiet instead. I have anxiety I can’t explain things it just comes out wrong n i sound dumb.
so What?? That’s life. No one can do everything perfectly right away. Get used to it..things take practice and we all fall on our faces as we go along. Pick yourself up. Stop letting the idiots run your life for you.
The key is the realization that everyone is just as dumb as you think you sound. Including you. So it’s really nonsensical to take any of it seriously, and rather just work towards whatever goal you may have, disregarding the fact that sometimes you’ll look dumb. Because everyone is dumb.
Thanks guys some really good advice her. I made a mistake n told them I am suicidal. That screwed up everything but I was on drugs. Paranoia n anger hit me at once
ha ha xanadu, good point, we are all dumb.
p.g., I made the mistake of telling my ex that when he left me I became suicidal. BAD. IDEA. His opinion of me dropped a lot but you know what, he didn’t ask about it, he didn’t discuss it. He just judged me. Thta’s what your “friends” are doing, judging you w/out knowing the whole story. Truth is, they don’t know, and it doesn’t matter. THe job you and I have now, after blurting out something stupid (thinking the other person would care, which they don’t, so it backfired and made us look like an ass) is to carry on and forgive ourselves for saying something stupid. As xanadu says, everyone is dumb, some more often than others.
Yeah you guys I right. My problem is I over think things I’m a very sensitive person. If someone tells me something offensive in a jokingly way I would take offence. I feel like an ass now I really did over think this one. I wish i had a dam time machine. Oh well I just have to live with it now