i am fighting the hurt i feel inside. after 13 years of giving my time, love, and heart to this woman, within a few days, she betrayed me and left me all alone. i am 53 years old and lost my youth by giving it all to her. it’s been 5 years now but still the pain comes and goes but mainly comes and stays for a long while. i have tried courting other women but none of them are interested.my heart seems unable to heal. my daughter wouldn’t give me an ear, my family is not interested, no one really to talk to. i was able to give my daughter the gift of education and she is more than prepared to make it on her own. my everyday life is one lonely meaningless existence. i want to end the pain. i want to rest. i’m not scared of dying nor of death. i just want to end the pain.
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Hi. I probably cannot understand what you feel because I am much younger. Yet, I feel like I understand you, at least a part of what you can feel. I don’t have beautiful things to say, I don’t really have words of hope, but I do have words of comfort. What I liked on this website is that only few people lose their time singing the beautiful birds of life. Here, that’s most unfortunate of course, but for people living our life, I think it is better to have realistic words rather than pictures in which we don’t believe anymore…
Honestly, I can’t even find what I might say to you. For I think about your message, I feel about your message, and I realise we’re feeling the same thing. Same despair. Same lack of vital energy. Same disillusioned feelings. Even if we didn’t endure the same things.
I will just give you solidarity. Hoping that seeing you’re not alone will make you feel better. I’m sorry if I did write unrealistic words….
I just wanted to say a word, to you.
thank you for your kind words, freedomseeker. your words are words of love to me. yes, your words helped me a lot. maybe folks like us have a higher destiny in the life after this. maybe this was the life we had chose to live before we even existed in this world in return for a greater form of glory our spirit (our true selves), not our body or soul, will reap. the life we live now is more heroic than anyone will ever know as we trudge along living for others while we ourselves suffer in painful silence knowing that there is a merciful end to all this. our hearts have this burning fire of goodness, compassion, and love. we give all of ourselves to the ones we love and as a result we lose it all when we get betrayed and have no recourse to anyone who really cares. maybe this is one way we pay for all our karma so we may never again need to go back to this valley of tears. we have been vessels of love, of goodness, of caring and we are allowed to suffer alone as we are subjected to a cleansing fire that will make our spirits shine brighter as the sun. maybe. but even if there is no afterlife knowing that i will in a still state of unconscious darkness devoid of memory, sensation and emotions is much better than the sadness and the pain in the heart i feel everyday. maybe. i love you freedomseeker and thank you, kind soul, for reaching out to me.
Hi, i am young (21) and i don’t have any advice, sorry…
you seem like a very kind person who has been giving alot. You have loved your wife and daughter, you have helped them, you even helped her get an education.
you do not deserve to be treated like this. What are they giving you back in return? Its very sad when someone helps others and its like they are biting the hand that feeds them. I have not been in the same situation, but being young that would prob be unlikely. I am very sorry this has happened.
i have read your whole post, and i wish people would appreciate you and would talk to you, i don’t know if i should hope, as i don’t want to be cheesy… I hope someone out there can appreciate you…
you have someone here who listened
If my post is a total mess i apologize, my emotional state is a mess…. Not good with words or anything
my Hjerteblomst,
maybe they are not interested in my predicament because they think i am weak and not able to overcome this problem they seem to think is easy to escape. thank you so much my dear for your very sincere concern. i appreciate that very much. i have a story to tell you. my mother died of cancer a couple of decades ago. her life was filled with tears since my dad was abusive to her physically and emotionally. she took to her religion which was roman catholicism as a refuge against what she felt was the power of the devil taking over her husband. but in her heart, she just wanted to die but die in the grace of her god. i don’t believe in any religion but i am not an atheist. i am an agnostic. anyway, she developed breast cancer which she hid from her family. the cancer could’ve easily been treated or even cured but she had had enough of her life. my mother was a saintly woman and a very very warm person that everyone who knew her loved her because of her kindness and genuine goodness towards other people.
before she died, she talked with a psychic and the two became close friends. after she died, my mother communicated to her psychic friend and sent to some of her children (me included) certain messages relating about who we are and what can we expect in the future.
the psychic wrote word for word the words my mother was sending out from the other side. she revealed that the suffering she endured had value. she told us that her spirit is shining in greater brilliance than most of the souls in the other world and that she had powers that ordinary souls don’t possess. i don’t remember if she said that there was a contract between her and my dad before they entered this world (of ours) that would effect this outcome.
i am probably saying to you that our sufferings may indeed have value in the spirit world and maybe these tears and heart breaks we feel today are not all in vain. people like us have so much love to give and when we give love we give it wholeheartedly that we have no way of protecting ourselves from the unkindness of our beloved. i don’t know how to end this but maybe life itself will take care of the time when it’s time for us to leave this world.