It was one of those nights where I was hanging with a large group of friends.
Even though I say friends, i just felt like an outsider looking in, I didnt have much input to give on their conversations. I just wound up sitting there thinking if i wasnt here it would make no difference. The group consisted of my roommates and some more friends ( we were at my house).
One of the friends is debating living with us next year so they spent the night entertaining everyone with stories. Everyone was so happy and lively. When i’m around i have never have good news or funny stories to share. I can’t make other smile. If that person did come to live us with i feel like they could easily replace me.
I just want to run away and disappear. Go somewhere far away where no one knows me, then i can just be by myself instead of bringing everyone down around me.