Hi,
I have been dealing with depression since 8th grade. Ive been in college since 2008 working to get a bachelor’s. I’ve withdrawn from 9 semesters (8 for depression and 1 for another health-related matter). I am trying to becone an actuary currently. I cannot seem to catch a break.
I have tried many medications, ECT, and therapy. The newest medixation, Brintellix was working fine. However, in my third week of the semester, my depression just came back. I missed class 3/4 days last week. Every day I worked myself out of feeling bad, ending each day on a high. Still, I would wake up in the morning, (M, T, W, R) just feeling garbage. Friday evening, the depression kicked in again, and I worked through my homework still (at a 1/4 speed). Yesterday, Saturday, I started feeling down again, but I did do some homework again at a snail’s pace. Today, I just felt exhausted from it all. I have my first exam of the semester on Wednesday, for a pretty easy class. But I still do not know if I will be ready. I might wake up tomorrow, feel depressed, and not get everything I need to done. I might not too, but the other days I might. Everyday is wild card. How am I supposed to live this way?
I know we’re not supposed to think about the future, but I cannot see myself being able to hold down a job even after college.
1 comment
I know the future loams large. And it is hard not to look ahead and worry. But you are looking at the future from the prospective that you be exactly the same then as now. But you don’t know that.