Yes, we ask it all the time. But, do we even want to listen the answer?
I’ve been wondering if someone would notice how down I am and ask me if I’m ok… and then just sit and really listen.
But then I realized I don’t remember the last time I was sincerely interested in how someone was doing.
So, why should I expect from others what I’m not able to give?
When I write in English, it looks funny to me, with all those capital “I” around. It’s kind of symptomatic.
2 comments
Sometimes a word that is used often will start to look wrong to me or if it is said repeatedly it will sound off.
I used to think that too. People would talk and chat, I would hide my mood, and I wondered, why haven’t you noticed that I am detached or devoid of interaction. Don’t you notice that I stare into space while you’re talking to me.
People experience their own issues and problems, some can’t handle any more and ignore that you may be down or low. They also may try to keep your mind off how you’re feeling by engaging in idle chatter and hope something sparks your interest.
Those with mental illnesses can often instil depression and low moods in others without thought. If the other person is prone to depression, then its just a matter of time before they are depressed again.
And yes, there are some who just don’t care. I found a useful trick when asked how I was, was to really think about the question and really analyse how I felt and responded with detail. You will naturally leave out your bad thoughts, but it gave a way to really own how I felt and why.
You can distinguish between who is asking to be polite and who is asking because they are genuinely interested in your mood and current state.
It’s a script, and if you deviate from it, then “something’s wrong with you.”
If someone you don’t know asks how are you, you’re expected to say ‘I’m fine/good.’
With your friends, you’re “allowed” be more honest.
It’s a crazy social thing…