I feel like jumping off a building. This would’ve been my last choice when it comes to offing myself but I can’t take it anymore.
I know it sounds silly but I am heartbroken for the nth time. It sucks when you’re 28 years old, kind of pretty, and single. It sucks when you see other women you know being wooed and cared for unlike yourself. It sucks to always feel like a loser. It sucks when you thought God had sent you the one but he’s just like everybody else, maybe even worse.
I don’t think I deserve to live. If I really am meant to beloved, then why haven’t I received flowers or chocolates my entire life? Why don’t I have a boy friend? I don’t even have suitors.
Heck, even my Mom wishes for me almost everyday to die. If she can’t love me, no wonder why other’s can’t.
So yeah, I might just kill myself this coming Valentine’s day. My depression’s getting worse. I sleep 12-14 hours a day and end up just watching movies on my computer. I’ve lost my will to live obviously. What is there to live for anyway?
8 comments
Sleeping depression away and watching movies, sounds like a regular day for me, lol. If anything you are not alone, plenty of people (men and women) feel like you do now, on a daily basis. Valentines day doesn’t make it easier either, but if one thing i’ve gathered all along (i’m over 30) is that a) some people are just naturally luckier than others to find a couple, b) depression and isolation add to it, because how are you supposed to meet people if you don’t interact with them?
Looks like you also won the lottery mom as some have called it here, lol. Don’t pay too much attention to it, must likely she doesn’t know how to express herself (i don’t think she literally wants you to be hit by a truck).
I know how you feel …. I just recently got dumped last weekend after a 2 1/2 year relationship to someone who now acts like he never gave a shit about me in the first place. This week feels like its going so damn slow it feels like I’m stuck in a time warp. I’m 20 years old….
Not gonna lie, i don’t know how you feel cos I never had nor ever gonna have any relationship. Unless it’s a robot.
But, ain’t a few days of happiness worth a day of pain. As you can still keep those happy memories.
Or am I just being really dumb and stupid?
With all due respect in regard to your mother, it sounds as if there is there is something wrong with HER, not you.
Secondly, sleeping and watching movies is not a bad way to pass the time when dealing with depression and certainly nothing to feel guilty over.
As for Valentine’s Day, it’s just a silly holiday. Yes, it’s aggravating (and depressing for some) to have it thrown in your face for a while, but that will be over on February 15.
Sorry to hear you are feeling down, but I wish you the best.
L4Y
(L4Y@cogeco.ca)
I’m considering jumping too. It sounds like the easiest method – just step off a ledge… done.
You do deserve to live AND to be happy. You need to get the negative people like your mom away from you. You will start to feel better. And it may lead to being more social, wanting to go out and make friends, get involved in your community. Don’t let someone else, even your mom, make you feel like you should die.
“…jumping off a building”.
I think the worst part about that is that your entire body ends up limp and, hell, in most cases the head is either partially attached or facing a different way to the rest of the body. You’d have bones protruding all over and don’t forget that you’ll more than likely “grand slam”, as in piss, shit and vomit at the exact moment that you hit the ground.
Bless the fire service and ambulance crews who clean those messes up.
Jumping off a building would take a lot of guts!!! But I’m afraid of heights.