#1

Why do I have this sudden urge to take a blade to my wrist? It’s as if I just need to see the trickle of blood flowing from my wound. Why do I have the need to feel the burn as the blade pierces my skin? This isn’t a new feeling, but every time I want to fulfil my desire, the feeling just goes away. Why do I feel this way anyway? As soon as I build up the courage, the minute the blade touches my skin, a pleasurable sensation is sent down my spine. As I arch my back to take in the sudden rush, I then lean over and stare at my bleeding wrists. As the warm crimson liquid starts to drip, I find myself feeling guilty for what I have done. A knot in the pit of my stomach starts to form. I drop the blade and run out the bathroom. A sense of panic starts to full me. What have I done? A tremendous sin that I have committed.  I fall to my knees and beg for forgiveness. My wrists are still bleeding. I’m a coward. In the end all I feel is the pain pulsing from my throbbing wrists. But soon, the urge is back