No matter how “free” your country is, the laws of nature in of itself is oppressive. There cannot be true freedom unless suffering is abolished though technological advancements. Unless all diseases, both mentally and physically are cured, biological immortality, a post scarcity society, and suffering abolition becomes a reality, nature will oppress us like Hitler oppressed the Jews and the law of entropy will be our executioner.

Many people want to live in this modern world. They get high on there own dopamine receptors or there belief in some invisible sky god that they convinced has a plan for them. The truth of the matter is, we are no more important than single celled organisms and viruses to this world.

People are delusional in believing that medication, counseling, or psychiatry in general will cure us! Bullshit! if that was true, you would be seeing a sharp decline in suicide, depression, and anxiety, not the opposite.

I actually dated someone who worked in a Psychiatric hospital back in 2006. She use to talk very poorly to me about the people she “worked” with, making fun of them and crap! I’m sure that is what most medical professionals do. They are PAYED to “care”. Pretending to care a part of there job. After 3 months of dating, and one week after I helped her move into a new apartment, she broke up with me out of the blue Wanna know how she did it? One day i checked my e-mail and she wrote “found someone else sorry”. That was it! When I called her and asked why she broke up with me – she said DON’T CALL HERE AGAIN! IF YOU CONTACT ME  AGAIN I’M CALLING THE COPS! then hung up. I was floored! absolutely fucking floored! During the 3 months I known her, I never hurt her or threatened her physically or emotionally. We never even had a god damn argument or disagreement for fuck sake. I was left very confused, traumatized, and unable to cope. I just wanted to know why she did it! After that I never spoken to her again. This happened February of 2007.

In 2003 I started having severe anxiety again, then in 2004 I had a complete nervous breakdown that lasted until mid summer of 2006. I was just getting better until all of that happened! Traumatic events like this always seem to have follow me – one right after another.  Welp, here I am in 2015, a fist full of misery and worth as about as much as a piss bucket and a pile of beans!

I did get SSI for my depression and anxiety. However, the system wants to oppress me by forcing me to go to psychiatric appointments and councilors. I get poked, prodded, and scared out of my mind. They just can’t leave me alone can they? All these appointments do is make me nervous and mess up my sleep. I actually get worse after i see them. Why? because they can’t go in and rewire my brain.  They can just try to talk to me and convince me that I have a chance in this world. Sorry but i’m not that suggestible. They do, however, give me medication that stops the panic attacks but it cant stop my depression and general anxiety. Have you tried deep breathing exercises? Meeting new people? yada yada yada! well of course i have! I can’t relax enough for the deep breathing to work and everytime I meet new people they wind up being pieces of shit who use my kindness as a vehicle to take advantage of me.

Onetime I told my aunt – YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD FUCKING HELP ME? A GOD DAMN HOOKER! PAY SOMEONE TO JACK ME OFF NOT TALK TO ME.

I’ll tell you why I’m depressed – because we live in the animal kingdom ruled by the laws of evolution. As someone who’s ugly, socially awkward (because of how people treated me), and rejected, I am a genetic mistake. Natural selection thrown me out of society! Here is what happens – When people are considered “undesirable” by society, they are rejected and become lonely. This loneliness leads to depression and anxiety which raises the stress hormone called cortisol. To much cortisol in your blood stream raises your risks of cancer, stroke, heart attack, and hypertension – this will ultimately lead your early demise. Now what does that tell you? that tells me that in the human animal kingdom, its residents reject the weakest among us in such a way that natural mechanisms will take effect. This mechanism kills off the weakest and leaves the “alphapeople” left to thrive so that they can use there “good” genetics to reproduce healthier offspring. This process is so illusive and subconscious that most people can’t even grasp this reality. Natural Selection is a ***** isn’t it? Unless these “doctors” can change this reality, people like me can’t be helped.

On the other hand, people are so tyrannical that they want to force us to live! They will both reject us and force us to suffer until we die of natural causes! how messed up is that?! They put one of my personal heroes Jack Kavorkian in the slammer for a decade just because he wanted to end the suffering of someone who was dying and about to chock to death on his own weak neck muscles (sure you seen the video).

some more random thoughts – The only cause of death, is life itself so why reproduce in the first place, hospice is a modern day concentration camp, and denying euthanasia (yes even for people like us) is one of the biggest violations of human and civil rights we face today.