I was never a popular kid. Sometimes I didn’t have any friends. Sometimes I had someone to go with, I wouldn’t say they were real friends.
After school, I did have friends. Popular ones, in fact. I used to go out every weekend, and just party all night, drink, laugh, go to sleep at 8 in the morning in some dirty apartment.
No big talks (at least no without alcohol being involved), no intimacy. We just had fun. It was kind of mandatory having fun.
So, people has calmed down, settled. I keep some of those friends and now we really speak. And some new ones. People who actually cares about me. I have some people who I can call when I’m down, people who will immediately drive to wherever I am when I’m having a panic attack, people who call just to ask me how I’m feeling. People who I’m not afraid to honestly talk to.
And still, I feel lonely. I can’t understand why.
1 comment
Sometimes people just have certain feelings and they are just there. I struggle with a lot of that myself. It’s great though that you have such a wonderful support network of people who care about you.
They might not be able to make the hurt go away, but it must help a lot knowing they are there for you.