I’ve always been a sad person. Recently I thought I had finally found happiness and then out of nowhere he left me. I hate feeling so petty. The man I love left me. So what. It happens every day. Yet I have never felt more sad. I feel like a turtle that is on its back and can’t turn myself back. I finally let myself be myself and he left. One day we were fine and then the next we weren’t. The wind has been knocked out of me. I wish I could understand. I wish I could breath. I wish, I wish , I wish. I’m such fucking loser. Everyone around me, “ohhh it will just take time”. You deserve so much better….blah blah blah. They don’t know. He was the one and he left. Ugh I can’t stand to look at myself. I’m 32 and have no fucking clue. It doesn’t get better. I should have killed myself the first time I tried at 6. Save everyone the trouble.
2 comments
I know how you feel. I’m 31 and can’t honestly call any attempts I’ve made or short conversations I’ve had a real relationship. It hurts when someone walks off on you, and you can’t figure out why. Your imagination will fill in the blanks in the worst possible way. It makes me downright mad too to have people tell you things like that. Things are just dandy with them and it’s so easy to repeat cliche dribble.
I know exactly how you feel and I’m also 32. The man I loved left me a few days ago, though I don’t know if this was ever a real relationship as it was online that we communicated and I never met him in real life. We had been talking everyday for 8 months though and I truly thought that the relationship was going somewhere and that he loved me, for me. He helped me through so much and encouraged me to go after my dreams and attend university. I am devasted and just don’t know what to do, I can’t talk to anyone as I know they won’t understand, they will think I’m an idiot for falling for someone online and just tell me to get over it and get a real partner. I should have let myself die a longtime ago as this was the only relationship ive ever had in my entire life. I’m a fucken loser with a capital L.