You fill my stomach with uncontrollable butterflies.
You make my heart pound faster than drums being played in a march.
You are the oxygen in my lungs. The blood in my veins. The smile on my face.
Just the thought of you can make my day.
But my problem is that I want you at such a great extent and
I need to convince myself that I don’t.
I have you already. Yes.
But not in the way I’d also like.
What will it take for me to be the one that you want?
I lie here at night starring up in the dark
trying to sleep, but my nights become sleepless.
You constantly run through my mind as if my head
is the place you want to stay.
I see you and I fill up with some kind of
happy emotion.
When I think about what we’ve been through
I realize that I’ll never lose you.
We’ve been through to much just to drop it.
But then I start to think deeper about
what we’ve been through.
I realize that I might lose you.
I might do the wrong thing.
You might leave.
You might break your promise.
I could say the wrong thing and
next thing I know
You’re gone.
I don’t know If I am who I really am or If I am just
something I’ve let you make out of me.
I’ve lost myself.
And I’m not sure where home is.
I can’t comprehend my actions.
I seconded guess myself with you on my mind.
My choices are invaded by your opinion.
You can’t ever do wrong in my eyes,
but I know you’ve done wrong.
Your hugs make me feel safe.
You protect me from harm, but
there is two harms that you can’t
protect me from: myself and yourself.
You make me feel invincible, but
you also make me feel like nothing.
Empty. Drained.
You fill my stomach with nervous tension.
You make heart ache inside my chest.
You are the carbon dioxide in my lungs. The poison in my veins.
The tears in my eyes.
Just the thought of some of the things we’ve said to each other
breaks me.
But this is what love is right?
Love is going on this roller coaster.
Love is feeling things
good and bad.
I know deep down that you’re the guy I need in my life.
We may have our ups and downs,
but I need you and you need me too.
As bad as we are for each other,
We’re so good for each other too.
Our love is the most confusing to me,
but it is also the only kind that makes sense.