Nothing’s fine. Never. But the worse thing is not seeing people. I don’t see people at work, and there’s only my mother at home.
Being all day alone is killing me. I try to call someone, just that I forget that other people actually have a life and won’t be available just because the world suddenly seems so hard to me.
I want a life too. I don’t want to spend the day with this sad me, thinking about how nothing is fine, stopping myself to call again, just swallowing the anxiety.
Uhm. Luckily I’ve got Fridays, when I’m with people for two hours, so I can wait the whole week waiting for it. They may think I’m really weird for being so excited to socialize. Yep, and then Fridays night feel so awful, so desperate because of the perspective of having a whole week on myself.
And then, someone tells me to do something the weekend… and that stupid sad me says no cause I think that they’ll only including me cause they feel pity. Who cares? I want to kill the sad me. I don’t want to think anymore about anything. I just want a fucking life. Or death, but something.