Coward me

All my life I’ve been nothing but a coward… Too afraid to step up to an abusive man (my mothers bf)… Too afraid to tell my mother he touched me in more than one inappropriate way… Too afraid to speak to people outside of my home for fear I wouldn’t fit in or fear that I would be a disappointment to more people other than just my family… Fear… Fear when I was taken away and put into foster care.. Being a coward for not just getting the fuck out and being on my own. A coward for never telling that one person I loved the way I felt.. Fear and coward now from the one I thought would be true but now looks at me like I’m the most vile creature in existence… Fear and coward I live in everyday because I feel so emotionally disconnected from all of life… All the people and background noise that would be people talking to me.. Only my mind overrides these people.. I am disconnected and I am destroyed… Why… Why do I go on everyd