The weather got too fucking hot for the first time this year, so I decided to take off all clothes. I heard that it is possible to pass out by touching my carotid artery and I found out that it is on my neck around my ear. I pressed against it at times and I came close to passing out, but there must be an extremely narrow place touch because at other times, it just hurt! I took an old shirt and wrapped it around my neck and I was trying to press against the carotid artery and I came close to passing out a couple more times, but for some reason, the blood was able to keep going to my brain and I didn’t pass out. I knew that I wouldn’t be lucky enough to die because the shirt would loosen up around my neck as soon as I passed out, but I just wanted to pass out, even if it was for only for a few seconds so I could be at peace and not think about all the stupidity and horrible things in this world! I wrapped the shirt around my neck as tight as I could get it and then I jerked off! The orgasm felt real good and I make interesting moans when I orgasm while I try to choke myself! I then put my clothes back on because I always have so many things to do! I have been feeling manic a lot more often than usual because I am about to go on a trip next week, so I can spend an entire weekend riding trains! I want to be able to stay alive to experience that!