God, you made my soul filthy. That’s why I was inappropriately touched as a kid, that too by parents especially by mom. I am still ashamed about it. Bullied and verbally abused by other kids at School, Colleges and social circle. Now tell me why you made it such a hell?? You made sure I am stuck with my parents and don’t know whether I am made to get married and throw another child into same hell. I was failed academically despite being a good student. Again it’s because my soul is filthy and I don’t deserve success. I am sure you don’t want any other kid have to go through this shame. And I don’t want my future gen to go through this. Stop this utter nonsense. Two kids died before my mother gave me birth. How can you give son to such a filthy woman who does not know where to put boundary on a kid’s body and at a certain age you should start respecting modesty of your kid. Male child molestation by parents is such a under reported crime in society. The shame is I can’t even talk and accuse my parents especially my mother over it. I can’t discuss about it openly in society. I don’t know how can I proceed with it?? I am suffering silently and my failures made sure I remain silent. May be a success would also have silenced me. As it is so shameful to admit that your own mother touched your private part even when being teenager. It felt so bad and not right. But still my protest was not forceful. I did not know how to respond it. Her insistence to give me bath at 15 and touch my penis was really not right. It was immoral. My soul is filthy.
Death is the only way to purity and sacredness.
5 comments
Don’t ever feel disgusted in yourself, your not the one with problems its your FUCKEN mother and parents. Stop blaming yourself and saying you have a filfthy soul. I was raped when I was younger, I don’t believe I’ll ever forget but I’m alright. This person once said to me he may have had your body but he can never touch your soul unless you let them. Hell is what we create in our own minds and we choose to punish ourselves is what hurts the most. Ask yourself was it really the physical act that hurt? Most times its no and the real hell begins from yourself what you choose to do with yourself after that. Maybe you should be the first to take a stand against mothers who sexually abuse there children it would be more common than you ever imagined but like you they are probably ashamed. You could maybe help even just that one person to speak out and get help be a role model. You are not disgusting your mumma is the one with the filthy soul. I’m sorry if this rambling don’t make sense. I just want to let you know your not alone and you don’t have a filthy soul a filthy soul would have liked it.
I am punished and humiliated severely in social circle. I failed in my goals. That promotes me to think I am filthy. But on a second thought I feel God did it deliberately to stop my progress and make sure I don’t get married to have a baby who will suffer the same shame as I had gone through by my mother or someway by my dad. I live in a society which is hypocritical to assume parents are sacred and refuse to even think of a case where a modesty of a kid violated by parents. Male Childs also suffer from gender stereotypes. As I said it is even difficult for me to charge my mom and start talking about it. Not even to my shitty parents. They are filthy ignorant people. God will give me justice hopefully.
I feel for you. I went through the same thing as a child. I wasn’t molested, just forced to go around naked and watched in the bathroom and shower until I was 13 and protested it enough, they finally backed off and let me have my privacy.
But I am molested. As my mother touched my penis while I was asleep, talked about it with outsiders, made insensitive joke about it along with my sister and touched it during bath when this shameless lady insisted to give me bath even I touched teenage while it should stop after an age.
Problem is with your parents you get caught and don’t know what to do. They are supposed to be your saviors rather than committing unspeakable shameless crime on you.