Well, I just learned a person I loved for a long time has taken their own life. We were together for a few years in the mid 90’s. I found out about the drug use, the selling of drugs, the lies and cheating. I ended the relationship. Today I got an email. Yet another year of arrests for selling drugs, more time in jail. That’s where it ended…..by hanging.
I never stopped loving and caring what happened. But I could not deal with all of it. I had Mom to care for as she was lost to dementia. I had my own body to care for after severe heart/cardiac issues. Mom has been gone two years. And now K is gone as well. I have no more dreams or hopes for happiness. Just the loneliness and deep sadness. Why am I still here? A 60 year old useless shell……..
3 comments
bayareaguy,
I am sorry for your losses – both for the loss of your mother and now the loss of K. Please do not let yourself be silenced by the thick darkness nor the gloom that you are currently experiencing. From what little you tell of your story I think you are experienced enough to know that sooner or later, if you hang on, those glimmers of light will shine back into your life again. Here’s hoping the light shines soon for you!
Sorry to hear of K.
I am sorry for your losses. I just had to point out, given the situation you did the best you could. I feel the need to say that because it sounds a bit like you might be blaming yourself (or maybe i read it like that because it’s what i’d do).